


Home

by GeoffFree



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Homelessness, M/M, Multi, Multiple Pov, Violence, abusive upbringing implied, injuries, mention of rapists, mention of serial killers, past abusive relationships implied, reference to non-con (no actual non-con)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 06:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 42,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5573938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeoffFree/pseuds/GeoffFree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AH OT6.  Gavin is new to the streets, but luckily manages to find support in Michael and Ray, who are able to teach him the basics of surviving. Geoff and Jack work at an underfunded homeless shelter and have a habit of becoming too attached to their regulars. Ryan is the mysterious Vagabond, who hides behind rumours in an attempt to protect himself from the violent gangs that roam the streets. </p><p>Prompt: Person A shows up to the others house, looking like they just got into a bad fight. The others must take care of them and comfort them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xray-and-vav-to-the-rescue](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=xray-and-vav-to-the-rescue).



> So I wrote this for the ragehappy secret santa and got way overboard, so it's much much longer than it's meant to be, so sorry about that. This was written for xray-and-vav-to-the-rescue on tumblr. Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

 

Geoff had spent enough time over the last few years being pickpocketed, which is why he immediately tensed when he felt the faintest brush against his back pocket that was almost undetectable alongside the gentle breeze that hugged his body. Living in a rough area and working the night shift did have its advantages after all.

He almost felt sorry for the would-be pickpocket, who let out an impressive squawk as Geoff grabbed his wrist and pushed the younger man against the alley wall with a grunt, struggling to keep his grip as the man continued to flail and yelp. He released the thief's wrists and instead pressed the heel of his hands against his shoulders, securing the other man in place.

The pickpocket went limp in his grip, his lips slightly parted as his shaky breath ghosted in front of him. Geoff's eyes narrowed as his gaze travelled down the stranger's lanky body, noting the deep wrinkles marring his clothes alongside the general grime that accumulated along his thin coat and across his face that accentuated the overgrown stubble and darkened his shady blonde hair to a greasy brown.

"So, are you going to call the police or just stare at me all night?" Geoff quirked an eyebrow at the British accent that laced the tone.

"Someone's far from home." He retorted, a slight question to his tone. The other man smiled even whilst his eyes darkened.

Quite suddenly the thief lashed out; his knee connected sharply with Geoff's crotch, and it was almost as if he could feel his balls wither and crawl pitifully up inside of him as he doubled over with a gasp, his hands dropping to his crotch as he crumbled down to the ground, his eyes stinging. That was a painfully impressive kick goddammit.

"You piece of shit cocksucking trash I hope you choke on so many fucking dicks you absolute dick!" He yelled, clambering up to his knees as he watched, thoroughly pissed off as the British man legged it down the alley, moving at a speed that Geoff could not hope to match, especially not with his throbbing balls.

* * *

 

Geoff glowered, storming into his apartment and immediately heading towards the freezer in search of an ice pack which he unceremoniously plonked on his crotch as he crashed down on the couch with a heavy groan.

"Jesus, what's up with you?" Jack asked, leaning against the kitchen door as he raised an eyebrow at the ice pack. "Please throw that away after you're done." He added, brows furrowed in serious concern about the dick contaminated ice.

"I got kicked in the balls by some British dick." He hissed, crossing his arms over his chest childishly. Jack scoffed.

"Oh, and what did you do to deserve that?"

"Shut the fuck up, I did nothing. The little dick tried to pickpocket me." He retorted.

"You're probably lucky that you just got kicked in the balls then."

"Not really. He was a skinny little shit. No wonder he had to fight dirty." He muttered. Jack hummed in thought, turning back towards the kitchen.

“Are you going to be fine to go in tonight then?” Jack asked, raising his voice as he called from the kitchen. Geoff grunted an affirmative, turning his attention instead to the faint aroma of heavily spiced curry, feeling saliva start to collect in his mouth as he became aware of his own hunger.

“I saw Michael today…” Jack started, a trace of hesitation lining his voice. Geoff twisted to face him, shifting the ice pack away from his crotch.

“Oh?” He prompted.

“I bought him lunch.”

“Was Ray with him?” Geoff prodded gently, his brows furrowing ever so slightly. He heard the clink of cutlery drift in from the kitchen as Jack served up their meal.

“Not when I saw him.” Jack replied carefully, trailing into the living room and passing a bowl towards Geoff. He ignored his hunger for the time being as he settled it on the arm of the couch as he assessed Jack.

“Are they okay?”

“I didn’t get much out of Michael. You know how he is. But he said that Ray was fine. He seemed distracted though.” Jack scrunched up his nose as he answered, pausing only to take a spoonful of his curry. “A bit, I don’t know, wary I suppose.”

“There’s meant to be a storm tonight.” Geoff pointed out, chewing on his nails absentmindedly. Jack blinked, nodding slowly. “I think maybe we should reserve a couple of beds.”

Jack opened his mouth to respond, his eyes narrowing slightly, before evidently thinking better of it. Instead he sighed, turning back to his food. Geoff knew what he was thinking; they weren’t allowed to reserve beds. They weren’t meant to show favouritism. Not that he considered it favouritism, he was just helping out a friend.

“They didn’t come to the shelter yesterday. They might not come today.” Jack said eventually, voice growing increasingly distant as he dwelled over his thoughts.  

“The day before yesterday they came and we had to turn them away. They’ll need somewhere tonight in this weather.” Geoff argued, reluctantly spooning some of the curry into his mouth, barely noticing the taste.

“So will others.” Jack murmured quietly, his expression conflicted. Geoff glanced at him but didn’t respond. Jack let it drop, instead reaching for the remote and turning the television on. It made their silence slightly less awkward, but not by much.

Jack finished his food quickly and went straight to the kitchen. Geoff lingered on the couch, stirring his food but not really making an attempt to eat it as he listened to Jack moving around in the other room. He sighed, reaching for the remote so it could check the time, rubbing the bridge of his nose when he realised they would have to leave soon.  

He loved his job. For the most part. But the hours were long and the pay was shit. As were most of the people. And the facilities. And actually, if he was honest, pretty much every aspect of it was shit. But at least it was satisfying. And there were the regulars, like Michael and Ray, who made it worthwhile.

And he supposed that working alongside Jack was pretty great also.

He switched off the television and brought his half-empty bowl into the kitchen, setting it on the counter and ignoring Jack’s dramatic eye-roll as he grabbed the bowl and disposed of the remaining food in the caddy before dumping the bowl into the sink alongside his own dish. Geoff smiled despite himself.

“You ready to leave?” He asked, leaning back against the counter as he watched Jack frantically attempt to clean. At least one of them was responsible in their shared apartment. Jack paused, running a weary hand down his face, glancing at his watch as he did so. He chewed his lower lip before nodding.

“Seeing as you cooked I’ll drive.” Geoff offered, retrieving the car keys. Jack smiled in reply, shuffling into the hallway and struggling to tug his coat on.

“You ought to get a bigger coat.” Geoff mocked gently. Jack scowled at him.

“You ought to shut up.” Jack retorted, ushering the both of them out of the front door and into the bitterly cold winter air.

“Oh, nice comeback. I wonder how long it took you to come up with that.”

“Shut up.” Jack repeated with a huff, but the slight crinkle around his eyes betrayed his smile. Geoff laughed as he slipped into the car, rapidly seeking out the protection it offered him from the elements. His thoughts trailed back to the British pickpocket and his ridiculously thin coat, feeling some of his mirth melt away as he started the car.

They did not live far away, which he supposed was another perk of his job. Honestly, they could probably walk, but someone had already attempted to mug him today. It was hardly the safest of places. A mix of the serious homeless problem and the growing gang presence meant that it was growing increasingly dangerous.         

He pulled up around the back of the shelter which was reserved for staff and volunteers. Other than Lindsey’s car, who volunteered in the kitchens, the car park was frustratingly empty. He put the handbrake on, frowning at the desolate car park. He knew Burnie could barely afford to keep them, let alone hire enough people to keep the shelter from being dangerously understaffed. As it was, Burnie was having enough trouble keeping the shelter up and running. They didn’t exactly live in a place where donations and volunteers were strife.

He stepped out into the cold air, rubbing his hands together futilely as he made his way inside. It was evident that Jon had already left, not that Geoff blamed him. Burnie would be around somewhere to keep the shelter in somewhat running order, and Lindsey had been volunteering long enough to have some understanding of how to keep the place under control.

Regardless, as soon as he entered he was jumped pretty much literally by a mob of frustrated, and haggard-faced people all shouting out various complaints and demands, which intensified to a crescendo of indiscriminate noise. Several fresher faced individual hung back, almost clinging to the walls in an attempt to stay away from the chaotic crowd.

“Okay, Jesus, everyone take a step back and get into a line. If you just want food go to Lindsey, the woman over there waving at us. If you want to get a bed go to Geoff here, and if you need any specific help, whether simply just advice or medical, then come to me. As usual if you push, create unrest or anything like that we will have to eject you from the building. As for beds, it’s first come first serve.” Jack explained, an authoritative tone to his voice as he managed to calm the rabble into silence. Albeit only for a moment before the crowd quickly dispersed into a hurried scrabble into something resembling lines. Most of which came to him, desperate for shelter tonight. He could tell already that they did not have enough beds for everyone.

He scanned the crowd for Michael or Ray, but they did not seem to be present. He frowned, debating mentally whether he should keep a couple of beds free just in case, even as he eyed the crowd in front of him that desperately needed those beds.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he offered beds to the people, advising everyone that if they had somewhere else they could possibly go then they should give their beds up to those who needed them more, especially with the storm coming. No one actually did give up a bed. They just stared at him, a glimmer of irritation in hard-set eyes at the implication that they would be here if they didn’t really need it.

Half-way through the line and with only a few more beds left he spotted a familiar face. He straightened up, momentarily ignoring the chatter of the person at the front of the line. The red-haired man eyed the crowd speculatively, a degree of disappointment marring his face at the sheer size, before their eyes met. Michael looked up hopefully, subtly raising three fingers. Geoff nodded in response, crossing off three beds from his list, leaving him with only a couple more to spare.

As soon as he said there were no beds left the crowd more or less ebbed away, their shoulders slumped and bitter curses whispered under their breath. Now that the beds were gone, the fight turned to finding whatever little shelter could be found in the street.

Michael hung back until the crowd left before he made his way towards him. Geoff resisted the urge to pull him into a hug, knowing that such a show of affection would suggest favouritism which would most definitely displease anyone watching. Nevertheless, Michael grinned at him, and Geoff felt his heart warm, distracting him from the guilt he felt at withholding the beds.

“Thanks for the beds.”

“No problem buddy, although in future try to make my job easier and get here sooner.” He replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why three beds by the way? I thought it’d just be you and Ray….”

“Yeah, we met someone who needs as much help as he can get to be honest. Ray took an immediate shine to him, so he’s been hanging around. He’s alright I guess, pretty funny if you don’t take him serious.” Michael explained, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Geoff quirked an eyebrow. Michael and Ray tended to stick to themselves and avoid others.

“Oh? What’s his name?”

“Gavin. He’s with Ray; they went to get food so they’re probably sitting down now if you want to meet him.” Michael replied, shifting his weight, and sparing a glance over his shoulder towards a group of people who lingered near the doors. Geoff could see why Jack said he seemed wary.  He frowned and made a mental note to bring it up later.

“Yeah sure.” He glanced over towards Jack, but his colleague was clearly busy. Michael nodded, his smile fading a bit as he lead the way towards the rows of tables where people were noisily slurping their food.

His eyes found Ray immediately, and he smiled, feeling immense relief at seeing the younger man again after a few days of not being a hundred percent sure whether he was safe or not. Ray looked up, feeling his gaze and grinned, his elbow knocking pointedly into the person sitting next to him. Geoff looked at the person beside Ray, both of them stiffening as they recognised each other.

“Son of a bitch.” He muttered, almost growled, as he stalked towards the table, reaching it in a few swift strides before towering over the seated man, presumably Gavin, who squeaked dramatically and flung himself onto his feet and behind Ray. He felt Michael come and stand next to him, but ignored the quizzical expression on his face.

“You kicked me in the balls, you cocksucker.” He hissed, careful to keep the scene contained. As much as he was itching to return the favour, he probably didn’t want to create a fight and get fired. Gavin blushed a dark shade of crimson red.

“What was I meant to do? You had me pinned to a wall…” The younger man argued, his voice high pitched, and loud enough to draw a few eyes. Geoff shifted, eyes trailing over the crowd, before deciding he had no choice but to be the bigger man.

“You pickpocketed me.” He huffed, forcing himself to relax his stance. Gavin blinked, his hands still gripping onto Ray’s shoulders and eyes darting around nervously.

Next to him Michael laughed, which started Ray giggling. Geoff glowered at them.

“This skinny little twig tried to mug someone, really? You’re an idiot!” Michael sneered, wiping at the corners of his eyes. Gavin made a strange sound of protest, looking betrayed.

“I didn’t! I tried to pickpocket him, it’s completely different…”

“Not that much different when you get caught moron.” Ray piped up, smirking around the plastic fork as he shovelled food in his mouth, despite the scene going on around him.

“You guys are rubbish.” Gavin mumbled childishly, his exaggerated pout making the other two descend into fits of laughter again. Geoff rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips despite himself.

A familiar weight brushed up against him, and he tilted his head, watching as Jack assessed the situation with a slightly strained smile on his face. Michael slipped away, mumbling something about trying to sneak some food off of Lindsey, patting Jack on the back as he went past. Jack sunk onto the bench wearily.

“Wow, you look like shit.” Ray commented wryly. Jack grimaced, running a hand down his face.

“Lots of people wanting advice today.” Jack explained.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of shit happening on the street at the moment.” Ray replied with a shrug, his fork clinking against his bowl as he scooped up what remained of his food.

“Like what?” Geoff piped up, slipping into the space next to Jack. Ray shrugged again, his brows furrowing.

“Just usual gang bullshit.” He said. Geoff frowned, before his eyes were drawn to movement as Gavin shifted awkwardly, still standing behind Ray.

“How’d you guys meet then?” Geoff asked, changing the topic abruptly when it was clear it wasn’t going anywhere. Gavin blinked at him; there was something startled, almost anxious in his look. Geoff wondered idly how old he was; at least a decade younger than himself. Around Ray’s age.

“The usual. Shared a pizza, got talking, decided to hang around.” Ray replied, his face brightening despite his blasé tone. Gavin shifted, eventually coming to sit down where he had been before.

“Who are you?” Jack pressed, brows crinkling in confusion.

“Uh, my name’s Gavin.” He answered, rubbing the back of his neck. There was something awkward about the younger man; Geoff did not think he had spent much time on the streets. He was simply too jumpy.

“Right. I’m Jack.” He replied, stretching his hand across the table in greeting. Gavin looked at it for a moment, before tentatively returning the handshake, smiling shyly. 

“I better get back to work.” Geoff said, excusing himself from the conversation. Jack would probably make Gavin feel a bit more comfortable. He wasn’t exactly sure what to think of the British lad, but he supposed that if Michael and Ray liked him, then he could put up with his presence. Besides, it was kind of his job to help people like Gavin out, so it wasn’t like he could turn him away even if he wanted to.

He jumped, cursing as Michael’s hand clamped down on his shoulder. The younger man laughed, not releasing his grip as Geoff turned to glare at him.

“Don’t sneak up on me.” He grumbled. Michael grinned, dropping his hands back to his side.

“I didn’t sneak up. You’re just jumpy.”

 “Whatever.”

“So, Gavin tried to pickpocket you?” Michael said, face oddly serious. Geoff ran a hand through his hair, nodding. “Don’t judge him too harshly for it. He’s a good guy. Just really far out of his depth.”

“I’m not judging him for it. It was still probably better than the way we first met.” He pointed out. Michael snorted, but didn’t argue. It was true after all. “You and Ray don’t usually hang out with others?”

“Gavin’s alright. Beside, someone has to be on his side.” Michael replied, pulling a face. Geoff tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I dunno really. I just know he’s new to this whole thing. When we met him he hadn’t eaten in days, was pretty badly dehydrated and didn’t even have a sleeping bag.” Michael explained. “I think he’s running from something.” 

“What, like he’s a criminal?”

“Nah, nothing like that.” Michael said, shaking his head. “I think more like he got involved with some bad people, if you get what I’m saying.”

Geoff hummed in response. He supposed that would make sense. There were lots of people like that who came to the shelter; most of them moved on pretty quickly though to be honest. Usually because they didn’t want to stay in one place too long. He brushed his hand over his stubble that was quickly starting to grow into a beard.  

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to offer much help. You know how much our hands are tied at the moment.” He pointed out. Michael frowned, but he didn’t look overly surprised.

“No worries. I get ya. I’m just saying, be patient with him. He’s actually quite funny if you give him the chance.” Michael said, a trace of fondness in his voice. Geoff ran his tongue over his lips, eyes darting back to where Gavin was still sat on the table, currently enthralled in a conversation with Jack and Ray.

“Anyway, I’m going to go claim my bed. I’ll seeya around.”

“Yeah, seeya buddy.” Geoff replied, watching with a strange sinking of his heart as Michael walked away. Outside, he heard the wind roar and the rain pound against the window shutters. He was thankful that he had saved the beds. He didn’t like the idea of Michael or Ray sleeping outside in this weather. He supposed that he didn’t like the idea of Gavin sleeping outside either.

* * *

Gavin shifted on the bed, tugging the thin blanket further up his fully clothed body, resting his arm underneath the pillow to try and give it some height. The lights had been dimmed, but there was still a rabble of noise; every movement made the worn springs of the beds creak loudly, and there were still those who had yet to retire to bed, or simply couldn’t sleep who were pacing restlessly, some occasionally yelling out, others engaged in heated conversations in low, careful tones.

At least it was warm.

He sighed, turning onto his other side as the hard bed dug into his ribs and made them ache. It was better than lying on concrete, but not by much. He strained his eyes in the darkness, trying to make out Michael sleeping in the bed next to him. At least the other man was managing to sleep; he didn’t look peaceful as such, but the bags under his eyes were slightly less defined, and there was a softness to his face that restored his youth.

He turned his gaze elsewhere, trying to seek Ray out but the bed was still unoccupied. He burrowed his head further into the pillow, trying to force his eyes shut. Ray had said that he wanted to talk to Jack for a bit, but that had been at least an hour ago. It made him anxious as he turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, mulling over his thoughts.

He sighed, shuffling into a sitting position, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders as his gaze travelled listlessly around the shelter. No one paid him any heed. He wished that he still had his phone. Not that it mattered to be honest. He’d forgotten to bring the charger in the first place, so he wouldn’t have been able to use it anyway.

He massaged his temples, before reluctantly getting out of bed. Even with his socks on he hissed at the sudden coldness of the floor. He thought about leaving his shoes tucked under the bed, but he remembered Michael’s warnings, and so he slipped them on, albeit bending the back of the heel, not bothering to undo the laces. He should probably get out of that habit. Chances are that these shoes would have to last him a while.

He crept past Michael, not wanting to wake the other man as he carefully made his way through the maze of beds. His mum had always said that if you couldn’t sleep, it was always best to get up and go for a little walk around until you felt like you could actual doze off.  He felt somewhat homesick at the thought but he pushed it to the back of his mind.

Maybe he could find somewhere to get a drink of water. He was certain that Ray had mentioned there was a water fountain somewhere in the shelter. But he wasn’t sure whether it would still be accessible at this time.

He walked aimlessly down a hallway, which he thought led back to the canteen. The shelter reminded him of a hospital in a strange way. There was a clinical, impersonal feel to the place. Something that was simply off-putting, that made this place anything but a home.

Geoff turned the corner and Gavin hesitated, but he was noticed immediately. Geoff eyes assessed him briefly as he approached, looking incredibly tired himself. He wondered whether Geoff always worked the night shift.

“Are you okay?” Geoff asked, his voice slightly husky. Gavin looked at him a moment before his gaze darted back down to the floor.

“Yeah, just can’t sleep.” He replied with a shrug, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Geoff grunted in acknowledgment. “Do you know where Ray is?” He added, when Geoff continued to stare at him.

“He’s with Jack.” Geoff said quietly. Gavin nodded, awkwardness shimmering within him and making his skin crawl uncomfortably.

“Um, I’m sorry about the whole pickpocketing thing…” He stammered, trying to feel less exposed. Geoff sighed.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re hardly the first to try.” Geoff waved him off. “Seriously though, you okay?”

Gavin was tempted to just brush him off, to simply shrug and say that everything was fine. But there was something earnest about the way Geoff was speaking. He risked looking up and meeting Geoff’s eyes, and found nothing but compassion and quiet understanding there. He chewed on his lower lip; the part of him that had felt the weight of his loneliness - that so eagerly searched out any sign of genuine kindness – reacted to the older man’s care. 

“Not really.” He replied, rubbing the back of his neck. Geoff’s gaze softened, and he relaxed, leaning his back against the wall, seeming content to rest there for an eternity.

“How long have you been homeless Gavin?” He asked softly. Gavin swallowed heavily, running his tongue across his teeth.

“Two weeks max.” He answered honestly.

“What happened?”

“I…uh, I just, I was in a bad situation and I didn’t want to stay in it, but…I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” He replied, feeling stupid and horrendously cliché. He looked away, blinking furiously.

“Was someone hurting you?” Geoff pressed gently, his hand brushing across Gavin’s shoulder. He melted into the touch.

“No. Not me.” He replied. Geoff raised an eyebrow. “My stepfather-“He huffed, brushing his fringe to the side. “-I think, well, I mean I’m pretty sure he was involved in human trafficking.” He continued, feeling Geoff stiffen beside him.

“My mum wouldn’t see it. She loved him, and he tried to hide it from her. But, well, she passed a month ago, and...Suddenly all this black market stuff he was doing became the only thing in his life. There were bloody kidnappers and rapists sitting at my kitchen table.” He grimaced, crossing his arms across his chest. “I called the police. But, well, I’m pretty sure they were crooked cops, because they didn’t do anything, and well, he knew someone had tried to rat, and I was the obvious suspect so I just had to get out of there, you know?”

He thought there would be relief once he had finally said it out loud. He’d thought getting it off his chest would remove the massive weight that had been haunting him. He hadn’t even told Michael or Ray the full story. He’d thought that it’d be cathartic, but honestly the words had just left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“I’m sorry. That sounds hard.” Geoff murmured quietly, his thumb brushing a circle over the slither of exposed skin on Gavin’s shoulder. He snorted in agreement. “Do you have a plan on what to do now?” Gavin shook his head.

“I thought of trying to go back to England. I have some extended family there. But my bank account had been emptied somehow…I’m pretty sure he took what little savings I had.”  He shrugged. Really, England had been his last alternative. He’d never really talked to his extended family, and he was pretty sure some of them were also working on the wrong side of the law. They might not even care to have him in their house. They hadn’t exactly tried to make contact after his mother had died.

“Have you tried contacting the police again?”

“No. I don’t think there’s much point. He’s probably expecting that. Beforehand I thought it was petty crime, or at least crime that wasn’t well organised, but I’m starting to think he’s untouchable. At least, at the moment.” He answered. It sounded akin to a conspiracy theory, but he’d already faced the wrath of his stepfather once, he didn’t want to push his luck. It was probably a small mercy that his stepfather hadn’t just got him killed.

“I had a cousin who was involved with crime and shit. He was never caught. Not properly. It was some random guy who gunned him down in the end. I guess most cops just let this sort of thing slide as long as their getting enough bribes and it’s out of the public eye.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He nodded, his eyes narrowing slightly. Geoff wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. He spluttered, but did not attempt to fight back as Geoff giggled at the noises he was making. Geoff’s laugh was infectious, and Gavin found a few wheezes escaping him as well.

“Do you still not have a sleeping bag by the way?” Geoff asked, brushing his knuckles across Gavin’s scalp, ignoring the squeak of panic as he futilely tried to scramble out of Geoff’s tight grip.

“No, I’ve been sharing Ray’s.” He answered, through gasps as Geoff continued to playfully wrestle with him.

“Come with me then.” Geoff said with a determined nod, grabbing him in a headlock and leading him forward.

“Do I even have a choice?” He squawked, flailing dramatically. Geoff simply grinned.

Geoff eventually loosened his grip as they reached a door. He pulled a key out from where it hung concealed around his neck, swiftly unlocking the door and entering the darkened storage cupboard. Gavin stood to the side, peering in curiously as he listened to Geoff scramble about and bump into things. After a couple of moments he re-emerged with a pretty beaten and worn rucksack, and a crumpled sleeping bag alongside a plastic bag filled with toiletries.

Gavin never thought he’d see the day where he’d be ecstatic over seeing a toothbrush.

“You should absolutely take this as a sign that I think you stink.” Geoff mocked, passing over the toiletry bag, which alongside the toothbrush, also contained toothpaste, a roll of deodorant, a spare pair of socks, some body wash and a couple of razors.

“Jesus, it’s like a kid on Christmas.” Geoff mused, grinning as Gavin fumbled with the rucksack and sleeping bag, his eyes bright for probably the first time in days.

“Thank you!” He said, almost forgetting in his excitement. God, he was ridiculous. He’d been homeless for two weeks and already he was like a desolate child in a charity ad, but either way, he finally had some goddamn belongings.

“No problem, buddy.” Geoff replied, as he turned around to lock the door again. From further up the hallway, back in the direction Gavin had come, there was a sudden burst of commotion. Geoff perked his head up with a sigh.

“I better go see what’s going on. Try and see if you can get some sleep.” Geoff advised, swinging the key chain back around his neck as he marched off down the hallway. “Oh, and word to the wise, no more pickpocketing, okay?” Geoff called back teasingly. Gavin huffed, watching him go with a fond smile.

* * *

Jack watched Ray stalk around the small office, the creases of worry clearly defined in his expression. He sighed, fiddling with a pen as he leaned over his desk, giving the younger man space to sort out his thoughts.

“It’s stupid,” Ray muttered, more to himself than to Jack.

“It’s not stupid if it has you worried.” He responded calmly. Ray huffed, rubbing a hand over tired eyes.

“I live on the streets, everything has me worried.” Ray grumbled, flopping back into the seat. The office was usually reserved for meetings with volunteers or visitors, or occasionally when more serious advice was needed for any of the homeless that used the shelter. It gave it a very unused, uninviting feel, but it was the only place they could hope to get any privacy.

“You’re not the only one that has been mentioning things like this. Lots of people are concerned.” Jack pointed out.

“It’s just…what are we meant to do?” Ray exclaimed, gesticulating wildly. “It’s not like we can go to the police, they don’t give a fuck.”

“That’s not always true.”

“Oh don’t do your advisor voice on me Jack. You know it’s true.” Ray said sharply. Jack pursed his lips, but remained silent.               

“There’s two gangs basically having war with each other, and bringing everyone else into the conflict. Normally, I’d just leave the area, except they keep expanding their territory, and Michael refuses to go anywhere, so what are we meant to do? Wait to be stabbed?”

“What are they actually doing?”

“The usual gang shit; they’re basically fucking over everyone, keep hounding people for protection money, even though we’re fucking homeless so of course we don’t have it. Keep trying to recruit people, keep pumping guns and shit into the street, keep just beating the shit out of people just because they can.” Ray hissed. It had been a long time since Jack had seen the younger man so agitated.

“I’ll talk to Burnie. Surely he can do something.” He suggested desperately. Ray huffed, unconvinced. Jack didn’t blame him. Their little shelter was basically ignored by the authorities; it was a stain on society that reminded them off everyone that had fallen through the safety nets. No one was interested in helping them out. Even volunteers were dwindling now the holiday season was more or less over. And donations were bloody non-existent. They’d be lucky to still be up and running in six months, let alone actually manage to get the authorities to take action on the gangs harassing the city. It was basically expected here, _so why bother trying to make it better?_

“So, have you made a move on Geoff yet?” Ray abruptly changed the subject, looking up at him with a shit-eating grin and no trace of his previous frustration.

“Shut up.” Jack grumbled. Ray’s grin widened.

“Seriously dude, at least try to woo him or something.” Ray said, kicking his legs up onto the table as he leaned back in his seat.  Jack glowered at him.

“I can’t believe I ever told you that.” Jack sighed, brushing a hand through his beard. “It’s just a stupid crush.”

“Aw, buddy come on, you never know until you try.” Ray leaned forward. Jack huffed.

“Let’s just drop it.” Jack muttered, refusing to meet Ray’s eyes. He’d only ever told Ray because…well, because he had been drunk and upset, and Geoff had brought a woman over to their apartment, so Jack had decided to make himself scarce and that meant wondering up and down empty streets until he found a familiar face.

“You know, I think Geoff would say yes.” Ray murmured quietly. Jack snorted, shaking his head, a flicker of hopelessness engulfing his chest.             

“Maybe you should try to make a move on Michael.” He retorted, perhaps sharper than was strictly necessary. Ray’s expression hardened, a glint of warning flashing in his eyes for a moment.

“That’s completely different.” Ray said, dropping his feet back onto the floor. “Besides, I’m not even into him like that.” He added after a moment.

“So, uh…Gavin?” He started after an awkward lapse into silence. Ray leaned back into his seat, a thoughtful expression gracing his face.

“Yeah…”

“What’s different about him?” Jack questioned. Gavin was hardly the first newbie to the streets that was out of his depth; Ray and Michael didn’t usually go out of their way to introduce others like that into their tight-knit group.

“Nothing really. I dunno, he’s just friendly I guess.” Ray shrugged. “Reminds me of a lost puppy. Seems kind of eager to have others around him.” Ray smiled fondly.

“Sounds a bit clingy.” Jack suggested.

“I guess.” Ray answered with a frown. “What do you think of him?” Ray asked, sitting up straighter.

“Barely know him. Seems nice enough. A bit of an idiot I suppose.” He answered honestly, scratching his nose idly. “I feel like he might be the type to get annoying after a while.”

“He’s not actually. Once you get to know him.”

“You only met him a few days ago?” Jack pointed out, quirking an eyebrow. Ray shrugged.

“Yeah, well, it’s more intense on the streets. If you’re going to befriend someone you tend to do it pretty quickly, or not at all.”

“I suppose.” He relented. Maybe he would have to make an effort to try and get to know Gavin more, if the guy ever came back to the shelter. They didn’t have to become best buddies, but he supposed it would be nice for Michael’s and Ray’s sake to at least make an effort.

“Jesus…” He hissed, catching sight of his watch as he carted a hand through his hair, which was in desperate need of a cut. “Burnie’s going to be pissed if he realised I sat here for an hour and a half talking to you.”

“Guess you better get back to work.” Ray laughed, stretching his back with a satisfying crack as he stumbled wearily onto his feet. Jack rolled his eyes, going to switch off the lights and ushering Ray out of the room.

“You better go to sleep. We can catch up later.” Jack suggested, locking the door, before turning and embracing Ray in a short, swift hug once ensuring the hallway was empty of prying eyes. Ray’s hands clung to his back for a lingering moment, before he stepped back with a small smile, and headed back towards the beds.

* * *

Jack ushered Geoff into the car, waving to Kerry and Meg who had taken over their shift, and now had the unfortunate job of ejecting everyone from their beds and supplying enough food for the breakfast and lunch shift. He’d managed to grab a cup of coffee before he left, which hopefully would put him in a more suitable state to drive.

Geoff looked half dead as he slipped into the passenger seat, throwing his head back with a groan and closing his eyes. He leaned to the side, nuzzling his head into Jack as he started the ignition. He laughed lightly, propping Geoff back up and ignoring the other man’s grumbling.

“You can sleep when we get home.” Jack pointed out, putting the car into reverse and carefully manoeuvring it out of the parking lot. Geoff hummed, letting his tired eyes flicker open, and fixing Jack with a weary stare.

“Ray and Michael have a new friend then.” Geoff pointed out, rubbing the back of his hand across his eyes.

“Jealous?” Jack teased.

“Unlikely.” Geoff huffed. “What do you think of him?”

“Who, Gavin?”

“Yeah.”

“Dunno, seems alright.” Jack muttered vaguely, glancing at Geoff out of the corner of his eyes as he tried to focus on the road. It wasn’t too busy yet, but the roads were still wet from the storm last night and had frosted over due to the unforgiving cold. “Why, what about you?”

“I like him.” Geoff stated simply, eyes lightning up. Jack spared him a surprised glance. “Nah, other than the whole pickpocketing thing-“

“Pickpocketing?” Jack interrupted.

“Oh yeah, he was the one who pickpocketed me yesterday.” Geoff said nonchalantly.

“What? The one who kicked you in the balls?” Jack exclaimed, startled. Geoff nodded with a laugh. “Jesus, Geoff, and you like him? After that? He could be dangerous…”

“Nah, Gavin’s harmless. I was talking to him earlier. He’s quite endearing actually.”

“Endearing?” Jack repeated.

“I mean, like, he seems okay. Easy going. I reckon he could be fun to be around.” Geoff added with a shrug. “Why do you care so much anyway?”

“I don’t. Just curious.” Jack said gripping the steering wheel tightly. Geoff hummed, but otherwise remained silent as he let his eyes close again, leaning back against the headrest.

* * *

 

Gavin came back early the next day. Geoff was actually pleased to see him, even if he came without Ray and Michael.

“How come you’re on your own?” Geoff asked after he’d reserved him a bed for the night. He walked beside the younger man as Gavin went to get food. Gavin shrugged, something a lot lighter in his step than it had been the other day. 

“Michael reckons a bunch of priests are visiting the Church and that he can get some money off of them, and Ray said he wanted to watch Michael fail and give up, so…” Gavin replied with a grin.  Geoff snorted; they did have a church in town- it was America after all- but it was distinctly unkempt, walls moss stained, and insides damp and rarely visited. He didn’t imagine many priests would be visiting that desolate little thing.

“So I gather they’ll be coming later than?”

“Nah, Michael said he’s going to TP the place if he doesn’t get any money…”

“Fucking hell, can he try not to get in trouble with the law at least once?”

“Ah at least it’s funny. Well worth a night in a prison cell if you ask me.”

“Then why aren’t you helping him?”

“Coz it’s bloody cold out.” Gavin retorted, with a mock shiver. Geoff laughed, not sure exactly what he found funny, but the sound made Gavin beam, so it was worth it.

“So, Geoff…would you rather have a penis in your mouth, or in your ass?” Gavin asked, giggling as he did so. Geoff huffed. It hadn’t taken him long to work out that Gavin enjoyed hypothetical situations. The fact that Geoff had initially responded positively to the frankly, bizarre questions that Brit came up with, now meant that whenever there was a slight lull in conversation Gavin would find some way to incorporate a hypothetical.

“Can I have both? Both sound good.” Geoff responded with a wink. Gavin paused, looking momentarily startled and Geoff was suddenly worried that maybe the younger lad wasn’t so open about different sexualities. But then Gavin laughed sharply, a blush making its way down his checks and neck.

“Okay, would you rather eat a woman out, or put your penis in her?” Gavin suggested instead, still laughing.

“Try again.”

“God damn, bisexual then?” Gavin asked, with mock frustration.

“Yep.”

“Damn, I need better hypothetical questions…”Gavin muttered, grinning up at him. There was still a faint blush over his cheeks, but whether from embarrassment or breathlessness from laughing Geoff couldn’t tell. Either way, there was something about it that was, well, almost cute.

“How about you? Penis, vagina or other?” Geoff asked, suddenly finding it important that he knew.

“Well, I mean…” Gavin stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m gay, but I’ve uh, been with men who don’t have penises before...”

“Fair. Like I said, I go every which way. If I like the person, I like whatever happens to be in their pants.” He replied earnestly, wondering how exactly their conversation how developed into this topic.

“Even if they had a snake in their pants?” Gavin mocked. Geoff spluttered, a choked, embarrassingly high pitched noise escaping his throat.

“God, no snakes. I hate snakes.” He said, shuddering. Fucking snakes.

“That’s useful knowledge.” Gavin said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Don’t you fucking dare. I’d ram my fist so far down your throat that I’d be fucking fisting you.”  Geoff hissed. Gavin grinned, his body shaking ever so slightly as he laughed silently.

“Spoil sport.” Gavin said with an exagerated pout.

“I’m fully serious.” Geoff growled, but couldn’t help the smile on his face. Gavin raised his hand to his mouth as a few more giggles hiccupped out of him. Geoff felt oddly warm and comfortable watching the younger man, and when their eyes met he felt this strange fondness intensify, and could only help but wonder whether Gavin was flooded with a similar sense of yearning.

He looked away, almost embarrassed, but still smiling as Jack came into sight. His smile dwindled slightly when he noted Jack’s hard, almost down-trodden expression. He ran his tongue over his lips, tilting his head as he tried to examine his friend, but the other man wasn’t looking at him properly.

“Geoff more people are asking for beds. I need you to sort it out.” Jack ordered sharply. Geoff furrowed his brows, tempted to argue back, if just to match the quiet anger in Jack’s voice, but he thought better off it. Jack’s gaze flickered to Gavin, who was looking distinctly uncomfortable now, before he turned his back and hurried away.

“How come he’s annoyed? Ray said he was the calm one…” Gavin commented quietly. Geoff shrugged, before frowning.

“Hang on, the calm one? What the fuck does that make me?”

“The angry, tired-looking one with tattoos.” Gavin answered with a smirk, ducking away with a squeak as he swatted at him.

“Go get food you dick, I have to get back to work unfortunately.” He muttered, pushing the younger man away with a playful shove. Gavin stumbled, gesticulating wildly and almost managing to trip over his own legs. Geoff rolled his eyes, laughing as he walked away and trying to push away the nagging concern about Jack.

* * *

 

Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t have actually gone through with his threat to TP the Church, but it wasn’t his fault that the priests were absolute dicks. It wasn’t his fault that he had sat, surrounded by visiting priests, who were meant to be charitable citizen, and not got a single dime for his effort. He knew he looked like a hell of a sight, and he even tried asking for spare change (much to Ray’s amusement), but they continued to ignore him, even to poke their noses up at him, as though he was homeless by choice. Fucking dicks.

Perhaps, at least, he should have waited for the visiting priests to depart. Maybe, he should have paid more attention and realised that the priests were visiting to pay respect for the passing of the local pastor, and decided to pick a more appropriate time to desecrate their so called holy property.  But he’d never exactly been known for his sound judgement.

So he stole some toilet rolls from the few public bathrooms that were still open and dragged a reluctant Ray into helping him, all the while fuming and cursing under his breath at the uncharitable bastards.

And honestly, it hadn’t even been satisfying. Ray was absolutely useless, just standing off to the side and watching him with amused eyes, whilst occasionally cracking a sarcastic comment that would get Michael fuming all over again. The church was still damp from the storm, and the toilet paper got soaked through immediately and started dribbling down the stone walls. He could barely get it over the roof, and every time he did, it would rip and start dribbling down again.

The most frustrating thing, was that the Church, with its crumbling walls, broken windows, and stained stone, was so unkempt that the toilet paper ended up looking more like decoration than anything else.

And then blue lights had cascaded over them. Ray muttered an, “oh shit”, before sprinting out of sight, reacting before Michael had even comprehended the situation. He cursed, throwing his head back with frustration as he heard the door open and a haggard cop stood out, glaring down at him unimpressed.

So now he was stuck in a cramped prison cell. Because he was a fucking idiot. Or because the priests were fucking dicks. Probably a mixture of both.

It wasn’t too bad. The guard was actually quite friendly for a cop, but he supposed that his petty ‘crime’ was a welcome relief when they usually had to deal with hardened criminals that would rather slice their own mother’s throat than come quietly.  

Jack was going to be pissed though. The cop assured him that he wouldn’t be charged with anything, considering he hadn’t actually damaged the Church, and that if anything actually happened it would be the legal equivalent to being slapped on the wrist. But they had phoned Jack, who was registered as his official social worker at the shelter (the only place of residence he could give) who was apparently coming down to bail him out.

Jack did not like crime. At all.  Jack did not like the people he was responsible for getting in trouble with the police. Geoff would find it funny; Jack would be like a disappointed parent, and it was not a conversation he was looking forward to in the slightest. God, Jack was probably going to treat it like he had fucking mugged someone, instead of, you know, just throwing around some toilet paper out of irritation.

But it was either that or spend a few nights in jail. Which, as much as he appreciated the warmth, was not exactly what he wanted to do. The place was already making him bored and irritable as it was.

Nevertheless, the moment the prison door opened and he was guided towards reception, and he saw the deep glower on Jack’s face, the way the older man was grinding his teeth, and the lines that were cascading across his forehead as his frown deepened and his eyes blazed, he wondered whether staying in that cell would have been a better fate.

“What the fuck, Michael? TPing? TPing a Church? What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you even think that’s okay, or that you wouldn’t get caught. Jesus Michael, what the fuck?” Jack growled the moment they were in the car together, the words barrelling on and on, not even giving Michael a chance to interrupt, and he found himself wondering briefly how an earth Jack was finding the time to breathe.

“Jack, seriously, it’s not that big of a deal.” He argued, regretting it almost immediately as Jack turned to glare at him. He could be a bloody scary guy when he wanted to be.

“Michael you just got fucking arrested, for being a complete and utter dipshit.”

“Okay, calm down a second will you…”

“Calm down? Calm down! Fucking hell Michael, don’t tell me to calm down when I have to come and bail your sorry ass from a jail cell.”

“Look, if you just let me explain…”

“Explain what? That you had a legitimate reason for TPing a Church? That you TP’d in self-defence? What the fuck is there to explain Michael?”

Michael went silent, pressing his lips together until they formed a tight white line. He’d never seen Jack so worked up; he’d seen him angry, sure, but rarely so vicious. He was usually the voice of reason, and Michael honestly didn’t see how what he had done would push Jack over the edge. It really wasn’t that serious.

Jack sighed, his shoulders sagging as he stared resolutely at the bare road in front of them, his fingers tapping an unsteady rhythm on the steering wheel.

“Seriously Jack, what’s up?” Michael asked carefully. Jack glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, his jaw hardening. “Don’t tell me this is just about me, because sure, you’d be pissed, but not this pissed. So what’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Jack said, a tad too quickly. Michael stared at him dubiously. Jack sighed again. “It’s stupid. Nothing important.”

“So there is something?” Michael straightened up, looking at Jack with genuine concern now. The other man huffed humourlessly.

“It’s honestly stupid. You’ll laugh at me.” Jack said dismissively.

“You seemed fine yesterday, so it’s something that happened today.” Jack didn’t respond, his expression turning stony-faced. Michael took that as an affirmative. “Is it about Geoff?”

“Why would it be about Geoff?” Jack exclaimed, startled. Michael almost jumped at the abruptness, staring at Jack wide-eyed. “You talked to Ray didn’t you.” Jack muttered, averting his eyes.

“It’s pretty obvious you’re into him.” Michael replied with a shrug. “Ray said you reacted quite strongly when he brought it up yesterday.”

“I didn’t.” Jack retorted bitterly. Michael snorted.

“Sure, whatever.” Michael glanced out of the window at the familiar streets, feeling some degree of relief to be going back to the shelter. He wondered whether Geoff had saved him a bed at all. “You know I’m pretty sure he’s into you as well.”

“No. He’s not.” Jack said with a strange, twisted smile. Michael looked at him questioningly. “I’m pretty sure he’s crushing on Gavin.”

“Gavin? Seriously? They met like two days ago, and Gavin kicked him in the balls…” Michael retorted with a laugh.

“Yeah, well that’s what it looked like. I’ve know what Geoff looks like when he’s got a crush on someone, I’ve known him long enough to recognise that look.”

“So what? You’re jealous?” Michael replied. Jack chewed on his lip, pulling into the parking lot of the shelter. “If you’re even reading the situation right, then it’s just a crush, right? I mean, you’ve never given him any indication that you’re into him. I mean, does he even know you dig dudes? It doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be equally into you if he knew it would be returned.” Michael argued.

It was true. He’d known Jack and Geoff for a few years now, and honestly, when he had first met them, he had assumed they were a couple. It seemed, even to him now, that they were constantly dancing around the fact that they cared for each other, more than just friends cared for each other.

“I could say the same about you and Ray.” Jack responded blankly. Michael opened his mouth to respond, and closed it again, his eyes narrowing.

“No. You couldn’t.” He said carefully, before getting out of the car. Even if he was interested in Ray, the guy was straight as fuck. And he wasn’t interested anyway. He’d cared about Ray the same way he cared about Jack and Geoff, and even Gavin. Nothing more, nothing less. It was completely different to what Jack and Geoff had.

* * *

 

Ryan just wanted to sleep without constantly being woken up, either by the police yelling at him with their bright torches to get him to move, or by fucking criminals that kept trying to rob what few possessions he had or stab him as he slept.  It honestly should not be this hard to hide away from the world in sleep when you were homeless and had no responsibilities.

He adjusted the mask, which he had been wearing for a few years now, when he had realised that people were less likely to fuck with him if he gave of this tough persona of an uncaring psychopath. Didn’t help when it came to begging for money, but whatever. It was worth it just to be able to lie down and not have anyone able to tell whether his eyes were open or not.

It was fucking cold out at the moment. He’d thought he would have gotten used to it by now, after almost a decade on the street, but he supposed that the cold wasn’t something you could really get used to. As long as it wasn’t cold enough to kill him, he didn’t particularly give a damn.

Still, he wished that his sleeping bag was perhaps a bit thicker. He shuffled backwards, wishing that he could find some more satisfying shelter, but that had mostly been taken by the gangs that had stretched out through this city. He would have to move on soon, but that required more energy and motivation than he currently had.

He could hear yelling. He tilted his head towards the source, feeling a degree of irritation at the commotion. The sound did not fade, but rather dispersed; a group of people then. He shifted into a sitting position, his hands going towards the hunting knife he kept by his side at all times, leaning his weight back on his hunches as he prepared to attack if it came to it.

He just wanted to go to sleep goddamnit. Could these bloody gangs not take one night off in all their screaming and yelling and murdering?

He scrambled to his feet as a lanky figure stumbled into his alleyway, registering the fact that the other man was unarmed. He kept his knife down as the figure yelled out, skidding to a halt and colliding into him in his haste. Ryan grunted, taking a few steps back and glancing down curiously at the winded figure on the floor who was staring up at him with wide, shocked eyes.

A few seconds later and three more, much broader figures turned into the alleyway. He glared up at them, aware that he himself was an intimidating sight, dressed in leather and face hidden in a chilling skull mask, and partly obscured in the shadows. The three man stopped, hesitating as he pulled up his knife. These men were not unarmed.

“Fuck off Haywood, just let us take him and leave.” One of the men, heavily tattooed and with a strange, sloping face that looked like it was formed of clay growled. Ryan narrowed his eyes, rolling his shoulders back as he stared down the three men.

“No, you fuck off. This isn’t your turf. Come closer and I’ll fucking stab you.” He warned, stepping over the trembling body still huddled by his feet. The three man glanced at each other.

“Come on, our fight isn’t with you.” One of the others complained. Ryan gritted his teeth, thoroughly annoyed.

“I don’t give a fuck. Go away.” He hissed. The men shifted on their feet awkwardly. He tightened his grip on his knife. He would use it if it came to it. These people knew that. He had enough of a reputation dealing with gangs.

“Fine, whatever. Fuck you Haywood.” The leader of the three grumbled, turning around and sauntering out of the alleyway. Ryan watched them leave, warily.  They probably wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t for the fact that their gang leader was still trying to recruit him. Small mercies.

“Oh god, please don’t hurt me!” He’d almost forgotten about the figure on the floor. He tilted his head, before realising that he was still wielding a knife and the skull mask wasn’t exactly welcoming.

“Are you okay?” He asked calmly. The other man didn’t respond, just kept staring up at him. Ryan sighed, removing his mask and kneeling down beside the other. “Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I…I think I’m okay.” The man said shakily. Ryan assessed him briefly, not taking long to conclude that the other man was also homeless, judging by the state of his clothes and the relative roughness of his skin. He didn’t seem to be injured.

“Why were they after you?” He asked, glancing down the alleyway cautiously.

“Uh, they wanted protection money, and we didn’t have it, and then we managed to piss them off so they decided they wanted to beat the shit out of us.” The man explained, shuffling into a sitting position and wrapping his arms around his body.

“We?”

“Uh, I was with my friend, Ray, I’m pretty sure he managed to get to safety…” The other man was still breathing a bit heavily, and Ryan was slightly concerned, but there wasn’t exactly anything he could do to help. “You’re Haywood? The Vagabond?” The man continued, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, but just call me Ryan.” He replied, smiling gently.

“I’m Gavin.” The other man said shakily. “Are you really not going to hurt me?”

“Nah.” Ryan waved him off, sitting back on his hunches. “Not unless you piss me off.” He added in a deadpan.

“Oh…”

“I’m joking.”

“Oh.” Gavin looked relieved. “You’re homeless?” Ryan nodded, shuffling back until he was sitting on his sleeping bag. “I’ve never seen you at the shelter. I thought you were a myth.”

“A myth?” He laughed. “I’m quite real, although I’m sure some of the stories you’ve heard aren’t.” He explained, smiling gently. There was something calming about Gavin’s presence; it had been a while since he’d properly talked to anyone. “I’m not welcomed at the shelter though.”

“Why?” Gavin asked with a frown. He didn’t look so wary anymore, although he was still tightly clutching his arms around his chest.

“Most people there are scared off me.” He said, pulling a face.

“Have you tried not wearing the skull mask?” Gavin suggested. Ryan laughed, throwing his head back. Gavin smiled shyly.

“It’s easier once you have a reputation to not have people fuck you over when sleeping rough.” Ryan explained with a shrug.

“Do you belong to a gang?”

“God no.” He hissed, accidentally making Gavin jump. He forcefully made himself calm down. “I’m not interested in screwing with people. I only fight if I have to.”

“You know, if you wanted to go to the shelter I know the people who run it. I’m sure they’d be fine with you coming.” Gavin suggested. Ryan huffed.

“It’s fine. I’m used to sleeping rough now.” He shrugged. Gavin looked at him, seeming unsatisfied. They dwindled into silence for a moment, broken by a few yells further in the city that made Gavin wince.

“Do you mind if I stay here? Just till morning?” Gavin asked, a pleading tone entering his voice.

“Stay as long as you need.” Ryan said, getting to his feet and stretching his hands above his head. “You can take my bed. I’m going to keep watch.” He promised, placing the mask back on his head. Gavin looked at him, bewildered, and a tad scared, before he scooted into the sleeping bag and carefully lowered into a sleeping position.

“Thank you.” He murmured. Ryan grunted in acknowledge. “Night Ryan”.

Ryan glanced back at him, surprised, but didn’t respond. He didn’t think Gavin would actually properly sleep, not with Ryan standing over him, but then, Ryan wasn’t going to sleep tonight. Not whilst the gangs were crawling around, looking to hurt people. He found he didn’t care too much that once again his sleep had been disturbed.

* * *

Ray heaved, his hands coming to his knees as he struggled to regain his breath, glancing behind him cautiously. He stumbled forward a few steps, slinking towards the shadows as he strained his ears, trying to hear if anyone was approaching. There were still a few yells echoing further down the city, but there was more of a distance between them then there had been.

He slowed to an unsteady walk, still glancing around warily as he made his way towards familiar roads. He was closer to the city centre, and the bustle of general noise, even in the midst of a working week, drifted lazily towards him. His shoulders sagged, drifting towards the main road, and taking some comfort in the presence of people, even if they ignored him.

It was too much to hope that he had lost them completely. But, hopefully there was some safety to be had within a crowd.

He brushed a hand through his windswept hair, trying to get it off his face where it was tickling his forehead in a persistently irritating way. He really needed a haircut, but it wasn’t exactly on his list of priorities when it came to figuring out how to spend whatever meagre change he had managed to scavenge.

He darted back down an alleyway, his chest no longer tight and burning in the way it had been, hoping to reach the shelter within the next few minutes. He wasn’t too far away. He’d hoped Gavin had gone back there as well.

The shelter came into view and he rushed towards it, shoving his hands into his pocket as he slowed his pace as he reached the door. There was a group of people hovering around the entrance and they glanced up at him disinterestedly as he pushed past them, still breathing heavily. He glanced around anxiously, spotting Jack and Michael outside the door of the shelter, laughing at something together.

Michael noticed him first, perking up immediately before he stiffened, quirking an eyebrow at his state.

“Ray?” Michael called, closing the distance between them. “Jesus dude, what’s up?” He asked, reaching his hands out to help steady Ray as he breathed heavily.

“That gang…they attacked us…” He explained breathlessly. Jack came up next to him, worry flickering in his eyes.

“Where’s Gavin?” Michael pressed, his face hardening. Ray shrugged helplessly, leaning further against his friend.

“I don’t know, we got split up.”  He confessed. Jack brushed his hand over his shoulder, and he took some comfort in the warmth of the older man.

“Come in buddy. We’ll alert the police and see what we can do.” Jack said calmly. Ray nodded hesitantly, still leaning against Michael as they stumbled further into the warmth of the shelter. At some point, Michael’s arm had wrapped around his shoulder and was now pulling him tight. “We should find Geoff.” Jack suggested, walking ahead of them, towards where the beds were set up.

The shelter was busy as usual, with most of the beds already occupied although the lights were still on. Distantly he could hear the clink of cutlery and the low murmur of chatter and he felt his stomach rumble slightly as his hunger reawakened.

“Geoff.” Jack called, hovering by the entrance to the room. Geoff looked up from where he was engaged in conversation with someone sitting across one of the beds. Geoff blinked, seeming to detect the tone and pardoned himself as he walked stiffly towards them.

“What’s up?” He asked, eyes darting between the three of them.

“Ray and Gavin got attacked.” Jack replied bluntly. Geoff seemed to take a moment to register this, before he cursed quietly, and his eyes snapped onto Ray’s with a piercing intensity.

“I’m fine.” He pointed out, pulling away from Michael and standing up straighter. Geoff narrowed his eyes, but nodded slowly, before turning back to Jack.

“Where’s Gavin?” He asked, tone indiscernible. Jack scratched at the back of his neck.

“We’re not sure.” Jack admitted.

“We got separated. I assumed he was going to come back here.” Ray elaborated. Geoff chewed on his lip, worry etched onto his face.

“Call the police. I’m going to drive around and look for him.” Geoff decided, buttoning up the coat he was wearing.

“I’ll go with you.” Ray offered. Geoff shook his head sharply.

“No, you stay here. You’ve already been attacked once today.” Geoff ordered, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder and smiling softly.

“We got separated on Hudson Street. I’m not sure which way he went.” Ray responded, frowning.

“Okay. I’ll look around. You guys stay safe.” Geoff said, ruffling a hand through his hair, and ignoring Ray’s venomous glare as he pushed his hand away.

“Take the car. Try not to get in trouble.” Jack said, offering the car keys to him. Geoff saluted him mockingly before leaving the shelter. Ray noticed the tension in his shoulders.

“Let’s go get food and you can tell Jack what happened.” Michael suggested, pushing him gently towards the canteen. Ray rubbed at his eyes, nodding wearily as he followed Michael’s advice.

* * *

 

Ray did not sleep a lot that night. After a while he stretched out and nudged Michael, stirring the other man out of the restless sleep he had been in. They didn’t say much, didn’t have much to talk about, but still they managed to keep up a choppy conversation. After a while their soft words began to agitate those around them and they fell silent, staring up at the ceiling morosely.

The silence did not help his nerves. He got up and slipped into Michael’s bed; the other man shifted up unquestioningly to make space. They didn’t make a habit of sleeping together, but there were times where it could get bitterly cold out, and the shared body heat was welcome. Now, it was comfort they both sought.

“Has Geoff got back yet?” He asked quietly.

“Not as far as I know.” Michael replied, still staring up at the ceiling. Ray hummed, turning onto his side where it was slightly more comfortable.  

They didn’t say much after that, but there was something relaxing about feeling Michael’s breath warm the back of his neck. He didn’t fall into a deep sleep, but he managed to be lulled into a slight doze. And if he woke up with his back pressed up against Michael’s chest, and Michael’s arm wrapped around his waist, as they so often did, it didn’t mean anything.

In the end Geoff came back just in time to officially finish his shift. He came back alone, and the worry was etched into his expression and suddenly he looked several decades older than he was. Jack wordlessly passed him a cup of coffee, rubbing soothing circles into his back as the four of them sat around a table in the near-empty canteen.

Even when Kerry and Meg came to take over, and start the arduous process of ejecting the homeless from their beds Geoff and Jack lingered. The bags under their eyes were dark and menacing and Ray felt the sudden urge to force the two of them go home and try and get some sleep; it had after all been a long shift. But he knew it was futile to voice his concern.

Jack went to wordlessly help Kerry as he prepared to start serving a late breakfast, for the homeless that were now bustling into the canteen, haggard and tired-looking as usual. Michael went to join him, eventually coming back with a few bowls of cereal- the cheap stuff, which started to fall apart into a soggy tasteless mess the minute it got the slightest bit wet- and eating hurriedly in a heavy silence.

The whole thing felt ridiculous. Perhaps the worry was founded, but the extent to which his heart clenched and he felt slightly nauseous alongside the fuzzy dream like quality that had descended over him, was probably far too melodramatic for someone he had just met. But he’d meant what he had said to Jack; it was more intense on the streets. Either you formed relationships immediately, or not at all.

And Gavin was someone worth knowing. He was funny, but not like those who fed off the laughs of others for their own ego; he was selfishly funny. He didn’t mind making fun of himself as long as other people were smiling. He just wanted people to be happy it seemed. Heck, even though he could be boisterous, he was sweet, caring. Kind in the most innocent way possible, perhaps a bit too naïve for living on the streets, sure, but Ray hoped that Gavin kept that quality.

He was surprised at the extent that Geoff and Jack were affected. But then, Geoff was quick to love; he didn’t dance around his feelings, try to test them out, he just felt and cared. Jack…well, Jack was caring, in the fullest sense of the word. Even if what Michael had told him about Jack’s jealousy at Gavin’s presence was true, the older man wouldn’t’ let that stop him worrying, not just for Gavin, but for all of them.

And then Gavin appeared, quite suddenly, hovering quietly by the edge of the canteen with a faint smile on his face. Geoff reacted first, getting to his feet and not caring about barging people aside to get to Gavin. Ray fell into step beside Michael, and somehow Jack managed to reach him at the same time from across the room.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Geoff yelled, barrelling into the Brit and grabbing him tightly in a hug that made the other man wince.

“Um…” Gavin mumbled, glancing between them with a look of confusion.

“Dude, a group of dickheads attack us and you disappeared. Did you think we weren’t worried?” Ray interjected. Michael shuffled restlessly next to him, shifting closer to Gavin as soon as Geoff made space.

“I didn’t know if it’d be safe to get back here when they were still roaming round.” Gavin explained sheepishly.

“Where even were you? Geoff looked everywhere.” Michael pointed out, hesitantly placing a hand on Gavin’s shoulder.

“Oh! I was with the Vagabond!” He replied, rolling back onto the balls of his feet excitedly.

“Bullshit dude.” Ray grinned.

“I’m serious!” Gavin argued, pouting dramatically.

“The Vagabond?” Michael repeated incredulously.

“Um, who is the Vagabond?” Jack interrupted, standing off to the side warily, even whilst his gaze was intensely focused on Gavin, something almost protective in it.

“He’s a madman.”

“A serial killer.”

Geoff made a high pitched noise, concern intensifying on his face as he turned his attention back to Gavin for explanation.

“No, he’s actually quite nice.” Gavin said, shifting awkwardly.

“Doesn’t he wear a skull mask?” Ray pointed out.

“Well, I mean yes, but…”

“And carry a knife around with him?” Michael added.

“I mean, he does but…”

“And fight with the gangs?”

“Well, yes…but he’s still nice!” Gavin exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sounds it.” Jack muttered disbelievingly.

“There’s no way you spent the night with the Vagabond.” Michael threw his hands up in the air, exasperated.

“I did!” Gavin protested. Michael grunted dismisively, but then grinned.

“I’m glad your safe, boi!” Michael pulled Gavin into a hug then, taking the opportunity to rub his knuckles against the Brit’s scalp, and laughing at the panicked squeaks that erupted from the other man.

* * *

Gavin shifted awkwardly on the hard seat, darting his eyes around the room as he felt Jack’s gaze fixed on him. There was a clock on the wall that was ticking loudly, each sound reverberating through his bones and making him uneasy.

“So, Gavin, what is your education like?” Jack asked, turning his attention to the computer in front of him. 

“Um…” he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Should I leave the section blank?” Jack asked. Gavin glanced up at him, before noting the faint smile on the older man’s face and he realised he was making a joke. He laughed awkwardly, sounding more like he was choking on air than anything else.

“I got ABB at A level.” He answered. Jack pulled a face.

“I don’t even know what that means…”

“I finished my education in England.” He pointed out.

“I’ll just write it down.” Jack decided. “Did you go to college?”

“Yes.”

“What did you major in?”

“Well, I did my A levels there…” He replied, confused.

“I…what?” Jack stared at him. “Do you have a degree?” He reiterated.

“Oh, no.”

“So you didn’t go to college?”

“What’s college in America?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. Jack sighed heavily.

“When did you leave education?”

“At 18.”

“Then you didn’t go to college.” Jack replied wearily, typing a few more things.

“Oh, you mean Uni!” Gavin answered, realising suddenly.

“When did you come to America?” Jack continued, ignoring him. “Are you a citizen?”

“Yeah, I’m a citizen now. And um, when I was 19.” He answered. Jack hummed.

“Do you have any work experience?”

“I’ve done a bit of cinematography.” He replied. Jack looked at him sharply. “I do slo-mo stuff, or I mean, I used to, but I’ve worked on a few things, like films and tv shows.” He elaborated. Jack was still looking at him intensely.

“How an earth did you get into that?” Jack asked. Gavin assessed him, relaxing as Jack turned fully to him, genuine interest in his eyes.

“In England, I had this really cool neighbour. He was an older guy, but he had loads of these high-tech cameras, including a phantom and stuff, and he taught me some stuff.” He laughed self-consciously. “It probably sounds really stupid I guess.”

“Not at all. It sounds fascinating.” Jack smiled gently at him. Gavin returned it, glancing down at his lap with a blush. He had got out of the habit of mentioning his interests in slo-mo to others; most people didn’t find it as interesting as he did. His step-dad had outright said that it was boring as fuck and that he ought to get a real job. Which was rich coming from someone whose job and livelihood was completely illegal.

“So I guess you want to go back into doing that then?” Jack continued after the silence dwindled on a bit too long. Gavin nodded quickly.

“I mean, if I can get back into it. I guess it’s not exactly the safest career move, especially when you’re homeless.” He rubbed the back of his neck. Honestly though, his cameras were probably the main thing he had missed since being homeless. “And I don’t exactly have the money for the equipment anymore.” He huffed.

“Well, I mean, maybe you won’t get straight into it, but if we can get you back on your feet and getting paid, then sure, I reckon you could get back into doing it.” Jack smiled, his seat creaking as he leaned back against it and assessed him. Gavin ran his tongue over his lips.

“Easier said than done.” He shrugged. Jack frowned at him.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, I mean Michael and Ray have been on the streets for a few years now.” He pointed out. Most of the people he had met had been homeless for years and it wasn’t exactly filling him with much hope, even if it made him feel guilty to think of his friends that way.

“Doesn’t make it a loss cause.” Jack replied carefully. “Michael and Ray have been homeless for years, but not continuously. They had a couple of years where they both had jobs. It can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.”

“They got jobs?” He asked, surprised.

“Getting a job usually isn’t the hard part. It’s getting enough money that is. They never really earned enough to be able to settle down anywhere.” Jack explained. “I mean, they have their own difficulties as well, but well, I don’t want to get into trouble for breaking confidentiality.”

“It sounds really complicated.” Gavin mumbled, resisting the temptation to rest his head on the table. Other than his cinematography he didn’t have anything going for him job-wise, and his cinematography skills were useless when he didn’t own any cameras anymore.

“That’s why I’m here to help you.” Jack pointed out gently. “There’s lots of people who manage to go from being homeless to having a very stable, secure livelihood.” He promised.

“I guess…”

Jack patted him gently on the shoulder, turning back to the computer that was old with dust, and returning to asking him various questions. Gavin realised after a while that Jack was more or less building him a CV and he supposed that he felt slightly more relaxed, knowing that at the very least something was being done.

“Nothing will get done straight away. We’re a bit limited with resources if you can’t already tell, but hopefully you’ll get some further suggestions in a couple of weeks.” Jack explained.

“So is there anything else I need to do?”

“Not at the moment no. I mean, you can go and apply for jobs yourself now, or you can wait for more support. It’s up to you.” Jack answered. Gavin nodded, glancing towards the clock as they descended into silence. It was still quite early, breakfast wouldn’t be served for another hour or so.

“How many more appointments do you have left to do?”

“You’re my last one for this shift.” Jack replied. “I have a few more in the evening.”

“So Geoff told me a bit about how you ended up homeless. Your step-dad is a bit of a dick.” Jack said after a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. Gavin snorted.

“You can say that again.” He replied, picking at the peeling table.

“It’s good that you found Michael and Ray though…” Jack continued. Gavin nodded, slightly confused at the effort Jack was going to with him. He hadn’t thought the older man cared for him much; he always seemed rather blunt and eager to leave every time they interacted.

“And Geoff as well I guess. They were all really worried for you yesterday.”

“Yeah.” Gavin murmured quietly. “Are you…are you and Geoff a thing?” He asked cautiously. Michael had mentioned something about the two of them, albeit it only briefly. It had, at the time, come across as a warning. He didn’t quite understand why.

“No.” Jack said sharply. Gavin looked up at him uneasily. Jack sighed. “Let me guess, Michael mentioned it to you.” Gavin nodded sheepishly. “I swear to god, if he could stop telling everyone about me and Geoff that would be absolute great.” Jack muttered, but there was something fond in it.

“So, you’re like an almost-thing then?” He questioned carefully.

“Stop saying ‘thing’, Jesus it’s not high school.” Jack groaned. “Or whatever you call it in England.”

“Okay, are you both touching tips or what?” Gavin asked, gesturing crudely. Jack glared at him, shaking his head with a huff of almost-laughter.

“No! God…” Jack spluttered. “It’s nothing, seriously. If you want to go ahead and jump on that, you can.” He muttered.

“What? Geoff? No, I’m not…I don’t…I’m good with not jumping on that…” He stuttered, flushing a dark shade of pink. Jack glanced at him suspiciously.

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah! I’m not crushing on Geoff, why would you think that?” He laughed awkwardly. Jack blinked, his expression still disbelieving. “Why, is he crushing on me? Not…I’m not interested.” He added, his voice precariously high pitched.

“It’s nothing. Guess I read the situation wrong.” Jack responded, a trace of bitterness in his voice. Gavin stared at him wide-eyed.

“Wait…are you jealous?” He said. Jack looked pointedly away. Gavin gave a startled laugh. “That explains a lot.” Jack snapped his attention back to him.

“What do you mean?”

“I…nothing.” He ducked his head, but he could still feel Jack’s intense gaze on him. “You might have been slightly…less than friendly to me a few times?” He elaborated, tension radiating off of his body.

“I see…” Jack murmured, scratching at his beard. “I didn’t realise. I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t major.”

“Still. That was a dick-move.” Gavin didn’t respond. “I don’t hate you.” Jack added after a moment.

“As great as that is, this is really awkward.” He admitted. Jack laughed.

“Yeah, I guess it is. You can go.” Jack agreed, gesturing towards the door. Gavin got to his feet, trying not to move too fast as he went towards the door.

“Thanks.” He said quietly, slipping out of the door and closing it behind him. He leaned back against it, breathing heavily before giving a few breathy laughs at the ridiculousness of the situation.

* * *

He didn’t consciously make the choice to visit Ryan, but he’d just finished eating breakfast when Geoff had sneaked a couple of deliciously large muffins into his hand, and, well, it would have been slightly piggish to have kept them to himself. And besides, he still wanted to thank the other man for his kindness the other day.

So he’d wrapped his coat around himself, and waved Michael and Ray off, having learned long ago that they only had hope of begging for money when they were alone, otherwise no one would dare approach them. It was cold out, a faint mist darkening the surroundings but thankfully there was no wind to chill his bones as he retraced his steps from the day before.

He arrived to a seemingly empty alley, and he hesitated, scuffing his feet on the floor as he contemplated his next cause of action. But then he noticed that the dumpster was slightly out of place, and he smiled to himself, walking further into the alley and turning to see that Ryan had moved his sleeping bag into the warmer space between the dumpster and the wall, with the lid of the dumpster pressed against the wall.

Gavin wrinkled his nose and crouched down, eyes narrowing in the slight darkness cast by the lid overhead as he made out the faint lump crawled up in the sleeping bag, a faint mop of dark hair peeking out the top. Even in sleep Ryan was still wearing the mask, although now it was lopsided and looked anything but threatening.

“Hey, Ryan…” He whispered, gently shaking the older man. He’d contemplated letting the other sleep, but well, it was slightly creepy for Gavin to stand around and watch him.

He didn’t know why, but for some reason he had expected Ryan to be a heavy sleeper. But the second he reached out and brushed a hand across Ryan’s chest, the older man had stirred immediately, as though struck by lightning, and within the space of a few seconds Gavin had been flipped viciously onto the ground with a yelp, before he was pinned securely with the cold steel of a knife pressed up against his throat.

His heavy breath condensed in front of him, and he leaned his head back, trying to distance his neck from the bite of the knife as his hands scrambled uselessly into the gravel beneath him. There was a brief moment of stillness, whilst the man above him heaved, eyes wide and frenzied before they narrowed, a spark of confusion in their depths.

“Gavin?” Ryan questioned, his grip loosening slightly.

“I brought you a muffin…” He answered with a sheepish laugh. The knife was moved away from his neck, and Ryan removed his mask after a brief struggle, still pinning him to the ground with his body.

“Why?” He asked, suspicion lacing his tone even as he holstered the knife. Gavin squirmed slightly.

“Um, to say thanks?” He suggested, blushing ever so slightly. Ryan stared at him for a long moment, running his tongue over his lips as he furrowed his brows, seemingly conflicted.

“Oh…you didn’t have to.” The other man stuttered eventually, brushing a hand through his bed hair with a frown as his fingers caught on the tangles. Gavin stared up at him awkwardly, before Ryan seemed to realise that he was still straddling him and pinning him against the ground. “Sorry…thought you were…” He trailed off vaguely, scooting back and reaching out an apprehensive hand as he helped lift Gavin into a sitting position.

“Here.” Gavin rummaged through his bag, before offering one of the muffins in a wary outstretched hand as though the other man was a wild animal. Ryan stared down at his hand for a moment, before cautiously reaching out and examining the muffin.

“Where did you get these? They’re expensive.” Ryan asked, the plastic wrapping around the muffin crinkling as he picked at the topping. Gavin smiled, reaching in for his own muffin, aware of Ryan watching his movements carefully.

“My friend gave them to me.” He said, ripping through the plastic coating quickly. “His name Geoff. He works at the shelter.” He explained, taking a big bite out of the muffin, moaning loudly in appreciation. Ryan pursed his lips before taking a small bite from his own muffin.

“That’s strangely nice of him.” The other man commented, licking away the stray crumbs that collected across his lips.

“Not strange per se. He’s just nice.” Gavin answered with a shrug. Ryan glanced at him speculatively.

“I haven’t had good experiences with shelters.” Ryan muttered, breaking apart a small part of the muffin and eating it slowly. Gavin wondered idly when he’d last eaten, because he’d half expected the older man to absolutely desecrate the muffin like Gavin was now prone to do with his food.

“This shelter is nice. Like I said, Geoff is pretty cool, and Jack…well, Jack is kind too I guess.” He continued, licking his fingers as he finished the last part of his muffin. Ryan was still meticulously eating and was barely halfway through.

“You mentioned someone else. Does he work at the shelter too?”

“Oh, Ray? No, he’s homeless too.”

“And you’re friends with him?” Ryan said slowly, as though rolling the words around in his mouth. Gavin looked at him, furrowing his brows.

“Of course.” He replied. “Me, him and Michael-he’s also homeless-hang out a lot. They’re pretty awesome.”  He added fondly. Ryan blinked, before abruptly breaking eye contact.

“How long have you been on the streets?” 

“Not long, a few weeks now.” He replied, rubbing the back of his neck, not sure why he felt almost embarrassed by the fact. Ryan smirked wryly, finishing up the last bit of his muffin with careful deliberation. “What about you?”

“About 12 years now.” He said, shrugging it off. Gavin stared at him, not quite sure he could process that.

“12 years?” He repeated. Ryan nodded. “Continuously?” He added, remembering what Jack had said. Still, Ryan nodded, not looking at all forlorn about it.

“Is it true you’re a murderer then?” He asked carefully, unable to help himself. Ryan laughed loudly, sending uneasy chills down Gavin’s spine.

“No. But glad to know that rumour is still going around.”

Gavin smiled nervously, trying not to make eye contact as he assessed the man sitting cross legged in front of him. He honestly didn't look old enough to have been on the streets for over a decade; Gavin had always imagined people like that to have weathered, rubbery skin but Ryan's was smooth, if a little grey, but not at all unpleasant to look at.

"Is that what you came back to ask me then?" Ryan questioned, leaning back on his hunches.

"No! Of course not!" He replied hurriedly. Ryan quirked an eyebrow but didn't say anything as he slowly rose to his feet and stretched his hands above his head. His shirt came up, revealing the beginnings of a happy trail that made Gavin blush. "I was just curious. There's a lot of things I've heard about you that don't make sense." He added, carefully getting to his feet.

"Such as?" Ryan asked, scratching his scalp as he yawned. Gavin shifted awkwardly. "They can't be that bad." Ryan laughed, a low pitched, pleasing hum of laughter.

"I mean, it's mainly like how you're supposedly a serial killing, lunatic who does stuff to animals which I guess is pretty bad."

"The doing stuff to animals is new, I wonder who created that one..." Ryan hummed thoughtfully. Gavin huffed, tilting his head at the older man.

"And the serial killing lunatic part?"

"Ah, I mean, I pretty much started that rumour myself." Ryan admitted with a shrug. Gavin raised an eyebrow, incredulous. "What? It helps to have a fearsome reputation on these streets."

"You're pretty good at spreading rumours."

"Thanks. It's really my only talent." Ryan replied with a smirk, which made the corner of his eyes crinkle.

"So, what are you planning to do today?" Gavin asked, after they descended into a surprisingly comfortable silence. Ryan glanced at him, furrowing his brows and wrinkling his nose.

"Nothing. Just going to read and stock up on what I can afford." He explained.

"That's it?"

"What do you expect me to do?" Ryan asked, a light edge to his voice, generally curious.

"I don't know, go meet people, go and beg for money or something..." He replied with a shrug, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Is that what you do?"

"Well yeah, pretty much."

"With Michael and Ray?"

"Usually yeah."

"I just usually stay here. I have a couple of books in my bag." Ryan said, gesturing vaguely towards the rucksack which was tied securely to the sleeping bag.

"What about money?"

"I have a part-time job. It helps." 

"Then you must know people from there that you could meet?" Gavin pointed out, leaning tentatively back against the dumpster. Ryan shook his head.

"No. I don't do a lot of talking there."

"What is it you do?"

"I work at a service station. It's pretty shit, and the pay is pathetic, but it's more than I could get through begging." Ryan explained, stumbling over a couple of words but Gavin let it slipped, still slightly distressed at what he was learning.

"You must do something else though! You can't just not interact with people, that's not healthy." Gavin protested.

"Being homeless in itself isn't healthy." Ryan retorted with a smirk.

"Well, yeah, but...You know what I mean!" Gavin sighed.

"Not really. I've barely talked to anyone whilst I've been homeless and I feel fine." Ryan argued. Gavin opened his mouth and closed it again, narrowing his eyes as he tried to formulate an argument to express what he was truly thinking. What Ryan was describing was ridiculous, he was living like an animal, just focused on survival and nothing else.

There was a scuttle of noise nearby, and Gavin almost ignored it, but Ryan stiffened immediately, his head snapping up before he moved quickly and pushed Gavin down on the floor, behind the dumpster. Gavin stumbled, his hands smashing against the floor and burning with pain as he scrambled onto his hands and knees, trying to regain his senses, his heart pounding in his chest as fear flooded his body.

"Haywood." He froze, falling silent at the unfamiliar voice. He shuffled backwards, peeking out through the slight gap between the wall and the dumpster, just able to make out three shadowed figures standing in front of Ryan, who had managed to scramble his mask on and was standing with his hands crossed over his chest threateningly.

"My boys told me that you interfered with business the other day." One of the man said, a strange sing-song quality to his voice that Gavin absolutely did not expect from the intimidating brute. He strained his ears, trying to hear Ryan's response but it seemed that the masked man choice to remain silent. Gavin held his breath, fearful of being detected.

"You can't keep fucking us over. We're going to have to take action against you eventually. Unless of course you have made the decision to join us after all."

"This is my turf. I was defending myself." Ryan replied coldly.

"I'm getting tired of you Haywood." The other man growled. Gavin scooted back, away from the small gap he was peering out off, and lowered himself carefully to the floor.

"What do you want?" Ryan grumbled. Gavin was surprised to hear no trace of fear in his voice.

"I'm starting to think it's going to be better for me to just get rid of you..." The man continued, voice indifferent. There were a few grunts echoed up in agreement from the two other men.

"I'm not going to join you." Ryan said steadily.

"I see. Now, tell me, why should I not take care of you right now?" The man continued, the threat lacing his tone like poison. Gavin shifted slightly, wondering whether he could jump in and help if it came to it. He probably wouldn't be able to do anything, but he couldn't just sit here, not after Ryan had helped him.

"How much do you want?" Ryan asked with a barely repressed sigh.

"$200 a week."

"I...I don't earn that much." There was a slight tremble to Ryan's voice now, and Gavin felt a spark of panic for the other man, suddenly feeling strangely protective for the other’s safety.

"Then what else can you give me?" The man pressed, a malicious smile evident in his tone.

"I don't have anything else." Ryan replied, his voice strained. Gavin wanted to interfere, despite the fact the three men could probably snap him in half just by looking at him.

"Then why don't you take off that mask, get on your knees and open that pretty mouth for us?" The man cooed, the others chiming in with grotesque murmurs that resembled laughter. Gavin felt his skin crawl, and was shocked by a sudden flash of protective fury that coiled around his gut and almost forced him onto his feet to confront the others, before Ryan interrupted any action on his part.

"Why don't you ram a dick down your own throat, you absolute cunts." Ryan growled, his voice lashing out like a whip and momentarily silencing the men's mocking chimes of laughter. "I'll get you your fucking money."

"Make sure you do." The man grumbled, before, finally, turning his back and leaving. The two others hung back for a moment, narrowing their eyes and appraising Ryan suspiciously before following their leader.

A shadow flickered over him, and he looked up to see Ryan standing, his mask in his hand, staring down at him with a stony expression, a slight shell-shocked glint in his eyes. Barely perceptible tremors coursed down his tightly clenched fists.

"Ryan, are you okay?" Gavin asked, breathing heavily himself. Ryan's eyes darted towards him with a startling intensity.

"You're bleeding..." Ryan said quietly. Gavin frowned, glancing down at his hands that were dribbling blood where he'd scrapped them across the gravel, and his knees that were scruffy and darkened by the blood seeping through his jeans.

"Oh, I didn't realise..." He murmured to himself, turning his attention back to Ryan and finding the other man right in front of him, his hands reaching out for Gavin's wrists gently, as though scared of breaking him as he twisted his wrists and examined the slight cut.

"Don't worry about it." Gavin said quietly, uneasy at the intense way Ryan was examining the slight wounds.

"I should have given you more warning. I'm sorry...." Ryan whispered, brushing his thumb across the back of Gavin's hand.

"Ryan, are you okay?" He repeated, carefully slipping his hands away from Ryan's grip in an attempt to get the older man to look at him.

"Yes. I can deal with them." Ryan said, shaking his head dismissively but Gavin did not miss the way he swallowed heavily and darted his eyes to the ground.

"How are you going to get the money?" He pressed gently. Ryan grunted, and then shrugged, staring down at his lap as he crossed his legs in front of him.        

"I'll find a way." He said after a moment.

"I might be able to help..." He suggested, hopelessly. He wasn't sure he could, but maybe Jack or Geoff could? Maybe he could find a way to quickly get a job, or something. Anything.

"I'm not your responsibility." Ryan pointed out softly. "I'll find a way." He repeated, mostly to himself.

Gavin didn't think twice about pulling the older man into a hug, wrapping his arms around Ryan's chest and nestling his head over his shoulder and pressed up against his neck. Ryan inhaled sharply and Gavin could feel the painful beat of his heart reverberating throughout his body before he eventually released his breath and relaxed into the touch.

"Tell you what, instead of you being boring and not doing anything all day, why don't you come with me and I'll show you what I do for entertainment round here." Gavin suggested, smiling shyly as he glanced up at Ryan. The other man seemed reluctant to release his hold.

"Okay..." Ryan murmured, quietly and strangely vulnerable, nodding as he did so and leaning back into Gavin for guidance as he dragged them both back to their feet.

* * *

 

It turned out that Ryan was immensely funny, albeit in a rather dry macabre manner, when he managed to relax and become more confident. And he seemed to enjoy Gavin's hypothetical questions, generally taking the time to contemplate them, but he's answers were always blunt and managed to startle further laughter out of Gavin.

There was something almost mesmerizing about him. A spark to his personality that pulled Gavin in, and he found that they meshed together beautifully, as though they had been friends for years. It was no surprise that he came back the next day.

And the next. And the next, and so on until it became routine. He'd leave the shelter in the morning, and bring some food with him to Ryan where they would sit and eat, and talk about meaningless nonsense that never failed to make them laugh, and then eventually they'd go their separate ways; Ryan often leaving to take go to  his shift, whilst Gavin returned to Michael and Ray, and gushed about how amazing and wonderful Ryan was and how they should definitely come and meet him because they would love him etc. etc. until he giggled self-consciously, a blush decorating his cheeks.

"You really like this Ryan guy don't you?" Michael asked one night, his sleeping bag rustling as he turned to face Gavin in the dark alley. Next to them Ray snored quietly, his head resting against Michael's shoulder. They hadn't been able to go to the shelter that night; they had got there too late to claim a bed and Geoff had already gotten in trouble for reserving beds.

"Yeah. You'd like him too. He's nothing like what you've heard." He responded, resting his chin on his hands as he stared up at Michael, their cold breathes intermingling in the air between them.

"How's his money situation going?" He said after a moment. Gavin pulled a face, which was probably hidden by the shadows that masked them.

"I don't know. He doesn't mention it much." He shrugged. "He said he was doing longer hours at his job, but I don't know if he's going to have enough."

"Is that why you've been saving up then?" Michael asked. Gavin pursed his lips, falling silent. "I noticed that you're not spending as much. I also saw you counting coins earlier." Michael explained.

"I guess..."

"Be careful with it. I don't want you passing out from hunger." Michael whispered, brushing his hand across his shoulder. Gavin smiled up at him fondly.

"Don't worry boi." He replied, ducking his head towards Michael who batted him gently away with a smirk.

Their eyes met, and suddenly it was as though nothing else existed, and he was abruptly aware that he could feel Michael's breath ghosting over his lips and that they were so close, and he wasn't smiling anymore, because he could feel his heart beating in his chest, and his palms were slightly sweaty and it was as though he was dangling off a cliff, hanging on by just the tips of his fingers.

And then Ray stirred, not waking up, but murmuring in his sleep and turning his head blearily, and their eyes snapped away from each other and Gavin took the opportunity to shuffle back. He wondered whether Michael had felt the same just then.

"Still, be careful with Ryan. He might still turn out to be a dick yet and we don't want you getting hurt." Michael muttered, lying on his back, and carefully shuffling Ray away from him. "Night boi." Michael whispered quietly.

"Yeah...night."

* * *

And then the day came that Ryan had to pay those assholes. And he did have enough money, but only just. Certainly not with enough spare to be able to get food, which Gavin only found out by pestering him after the gang members had left.

So now Gavin took it on himself to ensure that Ryan was eating and drinking and generally looking after himself, because he sure as hell knew that those assholes chasing him for payment didn't care if he killed himself in an effort to make enough money.

And it just so happened that an elderly woman had been generous enough to stuff $20 in his cup, and suddenly he had enough money to feed himself and Ryan for the next few days on top of the pitiful money he still had stored securely in his rucksack. But more than that, he found the urge to indulge them both.

So he picked up a small Chinese takeaway, a slight swing in his steps even if his head hurt with the mental energy to work out the mathematics of what he could actually afford compared to what he usually got from a Chinese takeaway. Evening had fallen when he found Ryan, deciding to forgo the shelter where he knew Ray and Michael would be, in order to surprise the other man with this indulgent luxury.

"Gavin? To what do I owe this pleasure?" Ryan grinned, marking the place in the book he had been reading as he straightened up, face brightening. Gavin giggled, revealing the Chinese takeaway.

"Fancy eating dinner with me?" Gavin offered, sitting down opposite Ryan, crossing his legs as he eagerly ripped through the white paper bag.

"You got a Chinese?" He asked incredulous, crawling forward to come and sit next to Gavin.

"Someone gave me $20 so I thought I should treat us." Gavin explained with a shrug, helping to open up a couple of the plastic boxes. Ryan stilled next to him, and when he turned to face the other man he found awed blue eyes sparkling back at him. "What?" He questioned shyly.

"You're amazing, you know that." Ryan said, licking his lips. Gavin swallowed, his mouth parted slightly as he stared into the other's eyes. Ryan's hand reached out tentatively, brushing a stray strand of hair away from Gavin's eyes, before leaning in slowly. Gavin moved forward instinctively, without even thinking about it. It felt like the natural thing to do.

And Ryan's hand slipped around the back of his neck and pulled him forward, and he clambered up onto the older man's knees, moaning eagerly into the kiss as Ryan nibbled on his lips, arms snaking down his waist and exploring his body. He melted into the touch, overwhelmed as he let Ryan take charge, as he found himself flipped with Ryan now crawling on top of him, lips travelling down to his neck and biting. Gavin arched his back, mewling as his hands clawed across Ryan's shoulder blades, desperate for more.

His head was whirling, and an image of Michael flashed into his mind unbidden. He hissed, a sickening twist of guilt crawling down his gut, that battled against the desperate need to touch Ryan all over, to have the man completely and to be had by him...but his thoughts trailed to the others, to the almost-kiss of Michael, even to Geoff's delicate overly-fond touches. And his own feelings were muddled, because everything was going too quick, and there was no time to think about anything, and he didn't know what he wanted anymore.

"Gavin?" Ryan whispered against his neck, his actions coming to a stop with a furrowed brow of confusion. "Is this okay?"

 "I.." He nodded, but bit down on his lip. Ryan sat back, reading the conflict on his face.   

 "It's okay if you're not sure." He said, brushing a hand gently through Gavin's hair.

 "I liked it...I just, need time to think about it." He murmured breathlessly.

"Take all the time you need. We don't need to rush. We don't need to do anything if you're not sure" Ryan promised, shuffling backwards and reaching out a hand to help get Gavin up. "Come on, we might as well eat the Chinese before it gets cold." Ryan suggested, with a gentle comforting smile.

And by all accounts it should have been awkward, with the kiss hanging tensely in the air between them, but Ryan moved the conversation on, not blaming Gavin for his relative silence as he struggled to assess his own feelings. And he was thankful that no matter what happened, he would still have Ryan as a friend.

* * *

He'd spent the next few days after the incident trying to figure out what he was going to do, and considering asking the others for help. But he couldn't go to Geoff or Michael, and as much as he trusted Ray he thought the other man might feel torn between his loyalty to him and to Michael, and he suspected that Ray may have his own feelings towards Michael, judging by the way the two acted. And that left Jack. But...well, he wasn't the bravest of people, and every time he thought about asking the bearded man for advice, he found that his tongue would just stop working and he'd hurry away with barely a few words.

Ryan hadn't pressured him for an answer, but he didn't think it was fair to keep the man waiting. And deep down he knew it shouldn't be that hard, because he had enjoyed the kiss, and he had wanted more, and perhaps he could say it was love, if he had the confidence for that, but then, he enjoyed the idea of kissing Michael, and even Geoff and, well, you couldn't love three people at once.

So he'd had the brilliant idea to go for a walk to try and clear his head.

He'd hadn't meant to walk into gang territory, but then, pretty much every place now belonged to one gang or another. And then he'd found a hand clasped around his mouth as he was dragged back into the shadows of the alley and thrown against the wall.

"Give us all your money or we'll fuck you up." The man pinning him to the wall growled, his hand wrapped tight around his neck. His breath stuttered, and his heart started to pound, adrenaline and fear flooding his body as his instincts yelled at him to do something, anything. His eyes darted from the man holding him to the other three hidden in the shadows, watching him disinterestedly.

"Everything I have is in the bag." He said breathlessly, hating himself for the way his voice shook. He was manhandled roughly as they dragged his rucksack from his back, and ruffled through it, carelessly throwing out all the items that failed to interest them. He only had a few dollars in there, and all the rest was worthless unless you lived on the street.

"Is this it?" The man grumbled, turning the rucksack upside down and shaking it. Gavin nodded, wide-eyed. The man glared at him, and then there was a flash of recognition in his eyes. "I know you!" The man yelled, sending shivers of fear down Gavin's spine. He shook his head, hands shaking as the man approached and pushed him back against the wall.

"This is the little brat that Haywood protected, ain't it?" The man called to one of the others, who was hidden in the shadows. Still, Gavin was able to see him nod, grinning with crooked teeth.

"Looks like it." Gavin clenched his hands into fists, trying to get his breathing under control as he realised that these two had been part of the group of men that had chased him and Ray a couple of weeks earlier.

He yelled out as he was backhanded sharply, stumbling backwards a few steps before his hair was grabbed and he was yanked forward, the hand wrapping back around his neck and squeezing. His clawed against the tight grip helplessly.

"'bout time we teach you a lesson." The man grinned into his ear, pushing him backwards into the arms of the two other man who grabbed him and blocked any chance of escape.

"Please, I didn't do anything!" He begged.

"You were a disrespectful little shit." The man accused, landing a punch right in his stomach. He gasped, doubling over and wheezing, even as the other man gripped his arms and held him upright. He struggled weakly, kicking into the shins of one of the men holding him and was satisfied to hear a loud grunt, and find the grip on him loosening.

"Help!" He screamed, struggling out of the grip and scrambling forward desperately. He didn't get far before he was yanked back, his arm twisted viciously behind his back. He yelped, falling to his knees as they continued to twist his arm, until there was a sickening snap and he yelled out, vision flashing white for a moment as pain and then a disturbing numbness flooded his arm.

"You're going to fucking suffer for that." The man whose shin he had kicked threatened, and he looked up with watery eyes, not sure whether it was pain or fear he was most overwhelmed by.

He was punched suddenly, and he flinched backwards, biting his tongue as he restrained another scream, feeling a bead of blood dribble from his nose. Several more punches were thrown at his face in rapid succession, and he struggled weakly, his head exploding in pain as a great dizziness overtook him as he felt his nose crunch and the bruises already starting to form. His cheek had been cut and was already throbbing, and one of his eyes seemed to be sealed close. His vision swam.

The onslaught of punches barely stopped before he was kicked in the back from behind and he tumbled forward, smashing his already bruised cheek against the ground, before he screamed out as his ankle was stepped on and crushed with a terrifyingly loud snap. Tears streamed down his face, his entire leg shaking and he was sure that the bone had pierced the skin.

He struggled into foetal position, trying to protect his head as he was kicked from multiple directions. There were several more aimed at his stomach, but most connected sharply with his ribs and he was sure that they had been cracked. He could feel pressure pushing down on his lungs and making him breathless.

There was a heavy boot pressing down on his neck now and he whimpered, turning his gaze up at the men surrounding him. He was forced onto his back, unable to muster the energy to fight it. The boot on his neck moved and he breathed out in relief before the side of his head was kicked, his neck almost snapping from the force as blood dribbled down his face and suddenly it was as though he'd been splashed with water; there was a cold detachment from his body, and he could barely hear himself moaning in pain but otherwise he might as well have been floating outside of his body, or be trapped within a dream.

And then there was more pain, but he could no longer figure out where it was coming from, whether he was being kicked or punched, but he saw with blurred vision that one of the man, presumably the leader had grabbed a bat, and he barely had the time to cover his face with his one good arm before it smashed into him over and over again, and he was struck by the sudden thought that they might indeed be trying to kill him.

He was shaking uncontrollably when the beating stopped. He wasn't sure how long it had been, every time he blinked he seemed to be thrown forward in time, and aside from that everything was moving slowly, as if the men beating him were underwater themselves. He was vaguely aware of coarse rope cutting into his wrist, and then something behind force into his mouth, which made him gag, straining against the rope tying his wrist as he fought to get it out, struggling to breathe around it.

Someone was talking to him. The words were distorted and he just couldn't make it out, but he could hear the tone, could feel the pinpricks of cold dread that spread through him at the cruel laughter, and he whimpered, desperately pleading without being able to form words as they left him shuddering alone and injured in the alley.


	2. Chapter 2

Michael was anxious. Gavin had left after already having claimed his bed at the shelter, having mentioned that he wanted to get some fresh air and that he would be back in a bit. But the bed beside him was still empty at least five hours later.  Ray wasn't sleeping, his own expression clouded over with barely concealed worry as he kept glancing towards the door every few seconds, as though hopeful that Gavin would walk in any second now.

"Fuck it..." He muttered to himself, getting to his feet and brushing a hand through his hair as he made his way towards the hallway. He hated waiting around for people, and it wasn't like he was going to be able to get to sleep when he was worried, which he was, so he might as well try and do something instead of sitting around uselessly.

"Guys?" He knocked on the door to the small office that he assumed the gents were hiding out at. It was relatively late and most of the jobs they were required for had been completed for the moment, not to mention most sensible people had gone to sleep at this time. He didn't, however, bother to wait for an answer before he made his way inside, his assumptions proved correct as Geoff and Jack glanced at him, smiling wearily but not unkindly.

"Hey Michael. Everything okay?" Jack asked, swivelling round on his chair to face the younger man. Michael grimaced.

"Gavin's still not back. I'm concerned." He said bluntly. Geoff looked up sharply, frowning.

"Where did he said he was going?" Jack asked, getting slowly to his feet. Michael shrugged.

"He just said that he was going to get some fresh air. He said he would be back shortly." He replied, clenching his hands tightly.

"We can call the police, but they probably won't take it seriously." Jack offered, rubbing the back of his neck in thought.

"I'll go look for him." Geoff decided, pulling the car keys out of his pocket. Michael nodded, having anticipated and wanted that course of action. Jack frowned, but did not make a move to prevent them as they both left the office together.

"Do you want to look with me or look separately?" Geoff asked, scratching his stubble as they rushed towards the shelter's exit.

"He can't have gone that far..." Michael reasoned. "We should stay together, otherwise we won't have any contact."

"Okay. Where do you want to start first?"

"If he's staying anywhere, than it will be with the Vagabond. I know roughly where they hang out together." Michael explained, slipping into the passenger seat of Geoff's car as the older man started the engine.

"Hopefully he's there." Geoff muttered, hands clenching the wheel tightly as he pulled away from the lot with perhaps a bit more speed than was strictly safe.

Michael scanned every road and alley as they drove off, occasionally giving directions to Geoff, but otherwise focused on the outside world in hopes of spotting Gavin somewhere. Fuck, he was worried. But, he was probably with Ryan. He’d probably just forgotten to mention that he was going to stay with the Vagabond, and they’d find him in a few minutes and then Michael could beat the shit out of him for making him concerned and everything would be alright.

Geoff pulled up sharply, and Michael jumped out of the car before it had even properly come to a stop. They were parked illegally but Geoff didn’t seem to mind as he followed after Michael, who was scanning the alleyway in search of anyone. He knew this was roughly where Ryan and Gavin met, but he wasn’t exactly sure where the Vagabond would be.

As it was, the Vagabond found them first.

“Who are you?” A gruff voice rung out, and he vaguely made out a shadowed figured, face covered in a skull mask, and looking every bit as threatening as the rumours said he was. Next to him Geoff narrowed his eyes, tension radiating from his body.

“Is Gavin with you?” Geoff asked bluntly. Even without being able to see his face the Vagabond’s surprise was evident.

“Who are you?” He repeated, hesitantly this time and taking a few steps towards them.

“We’re friends. Is he with you?” Michael said. There was a brief silence.

“No. He isn’t.” Michael felt his heart sink at the words. Beside him Geoff immediately turned away, no longer interested in the other man.

“You sure?” Michael said, clear accusation in his voice. The Vagabond stared at him. “Because if you’ve done something to hurt him you’re basically a dead man.” He growled, his eyes glowing furiously. Geoff placed a comforting hand on his arm, trying to calm him even as he turned back towards the Vagabond.

“I wouldn’t hurt him.” The Vagabond repeated, slowly removing his mask. Michael committed his face to memory, glaring into his eyes suspiciously.  “What’s going on?”

Michael didn’t want to answer him, despite the vulnerability in the other man’s voice that tugged at his own sense of empathy. Geoff swallowed next to him, clearly indecisive.

“He’s gone missing.” Geoff replied. The other man’s expression was unreadable and Michael felt a flare of indignant anger at it. “Michael he doesn’t know shit. Let’s stop wasting time and keep looking.” He said, turning towards Michael pointedly. He frowned, still glaring at the Vagabond even as he nodded and turned away.

“Wait!” The Vagabond called out as they turned away. Michael glared back at him for wasting their time. “If there’s any news can you please update me?” The man shifted his feet, scuffing his already matted shoes along the gravel. Michael narrowed his eyes but nodded silently, before turning away and heading back towards the car with Geoff.  

* * *

 

Ryan was freaking out. He hadn't exactly thought he’d be able to sleep tonight; his mind was already hyperaware due to his persistent insomnia, but now that he knew Gavin might be in trouble, he knew the additional worry would keep him awake. He paced aimlessly up and down the alley, occasionally pausing and leaning back against the dumpster as he tried to steady his thoughts and contemplate a course of action.

He tapped a meaningless rhythm across his thigh, nibbling on his lower lip as he racked his mind for a solution. After a moment he sighed, and reequipped his mask before collecting his belongings and swinging his rucksack over his back. He'd walked with Gavin enough times to have a vague idea of the places the younger man knew and where he might have ended up.

He headed off, rubbing his hands together in front of him and idly wishing that he had enough spare change to buy some gloves. His last pair had been destroyed last winter, but there wasn't much he could do about it when he was already been rinsed dry by the local gangs.

He frowned then, turning back on himself and slipping through another backstreet. If Gavin had got himself in trouble, it would most likely be with one of the gangs, so it would make sense to start looking within gang territory. He checked his knife, fiddling with his holster to ensure it was not too tightly secured that he would have a struggle to wield it.

He searched each street carefully, occasionally going back through them multiple times to ensure there was no trace of the other man. He was briefly reminded of what his father had told him, long ago when Ryan was still a boy and they would go hunting together. To look for disturbances, things out of place, scuff marks and breakages, anything that would suggest someone had been there. But it was easier said than done to apply it to an urban setting

He called out occasionally, but he didn’t have much hope for receiving an answer. It was cold out tonight, a sharp bite in the air that warned of mist that would be rolling in by morning and threatened of the possibility of rain. He didn't like to think of Gavin alone in this weather.

But the city was big and so were the gangs that occupied it. He was coming up empty everywhere he turned and the frustration was bubbling up into a dangerous anger, and he gritted his teeth together, silently fuming as he continued to search.

It didn't take him long to stumble upon a couple of gang members, neither of which he particularly recognised apart from the emblem etched into their jackets. He straightened out, eyes blazing as he wielded his knife and approached them, not bothering to think about whether this was a good idea or not.

One of them, a broad-shouldered man, who was on the shorter side but made up with it for sheer bulk of muscles turned to face him in time to curse before Ryan grabbed him in a headlock with the knife pressed up against his throat. The other man, nothing more than a skittish teenager took a startled step back, wide-eyes fixed on the mask that flickered fiercely in the faint light from a distant window.

"Have you hurt anyone today?" He growled, eyes fixed on the younger of the two, warning him without words not to make a move.

"We hurt lots of people." The man grumbled, a strange wetness to his voice as the saliva collected in his mouth and dribbled across his crooked teeth and down his chapped lips. Ryan pressed the knife hard enough to draw blood.

"I'm looking for someone in particular." He hissed. "British, dark blonde hair, big nose; know where he is?"

"Oh, you mean your little pet?" The man sneered. Ryan growled, slicing his knife across the man's cheek, satisfied at the spray of blood that coated the ground and silenced the man.

"Where is he?" He said, eyes narrowed. He could hear the man breathing heavily. "Tell me or I'll kill you goddamnit." He threatened, tightening his grip around the man's throat.

"Look, I didn't touch him!" The man claimed. "I may have heard that a few of our guys roughed him up a bit but nothing to do with me."

"Where?"

"I ain't sure exactly, but maybe around Sixth street, one of those alleys." The man explained, lifting up his hands in surrender.

"If you're lying to me..."

"I ain't, you got my word on that Vagabond. Just don't be telling no one who told you." The man grumbled. Ryan stared him down for a moment, memorising his face just in case it came to it, before he released him, throwing him forward whilst still wielding his knife.

"You better hope that's true." He warned, glowering at the two men who watched him with heated, yet morbidly curious stares, before he swiftly pushed past them, making his way out of the alley and into a main street where he doubted they would follow.

His heart was pounding. He broke into a jog now that he knew that Gavin was definitely in danger. He hoped to god that the location was correct. He needed to find the younger man now. And he might just hunt down those men who had hurt him.

"Gavin!" He called out, panting heavily as he slowed into a walk, eyes scanning along the street. "Gavin!" He yelled again, ducking into one of the nearest backstreets. There were lots of several winding passages along these parts, which was part of what could make them dangerous to walk along. Lots of place where the chances of witnesses was very slim.

He heard a faint noise, he was sure he did, but the wind carried it as though it was coming from all directions. He growled, stalking forwards with the intent to search everywhere if he needed to. The first few alleys were frighteningly desolate, and he could feel anxiety flooding him, because what if Gavin wasn't here? What if the man was bleeding out across the city because some shithead had lied to him? And then he saw a faint shape in the distance, barely discernible in the darkness but definitely human. He inhaled sharply, before rushing forward.

"Gavin..." He called quietly, kneeling down to the ground next to the shadowed lump and carefully removing his mask. The person moved beneath him, and he brushed the blood-matted hair away from the bruised face, meeting green eyes that were significantly dulled but still flashed with recognition. "Fuck, Gavin." He whispered, swallowing heavily as he reached out tentatively and removed the makeshift gag from the other's mouth.

"Hey Rye-bread..." Gavin said shakily, rotating his jaw from side to side, a flash of pain marring his eyes as he did so. Ryan could hear him breathing now, and there was a worrisome wheezing sound accompanying him.  "Can you..." The younger man trailed off, instead shifting onto his front to reveal his wrists tied securely behind his back.

Ryan got the message, and pulled out his knife whilst he carefully cut away at the rope, his face hardening at the distinct wetness that coated Gavin's wrist. He couldn't see properly in the dark, but he imagined that Gavin's wrists were torn to shreds from the bindings, judging by how tightly and haphazardly it had been wrapped. Gavin sighed happily, his wrists dropping down limply as the rope came free.

"Can you walk?" He asked. Gavin didn't respond for a moment, before he wearily shook his head, the action seeming to hurt him more. "Okay, don't worry. I'm going to take you back to the shelter where your buddies are, okay?" He explained, stroking his hand through Gavin's knotted hair. The younger man nodded, eyelids fluttering as Ryan carefully reached out and lifted the Brit up in a bridesmaid's carry. Gavin hissed as he was rocked, and Ryan could feel the way his body was trembling pitifully.

Ryan didn't know enough about first aid to be sure about whether he should let Gavin sleep or not, but watching the younger man's eyes flutter and his head start to lull as sleep tried to claim him sent a fresh spark of panic through him, and he shook the man awake again, mindful of the other's injuries. Gavin groaned but kept his eyes opened, even if they seemed to look around blindly.

Time had never seemed to pass so slowly, yet in such a blurred rush, as it did right then. His own muscles were starting to feel the strain of keeping Gavin lifted, but he pushed it to the back of his mind, continuing to walk at a slower pace than he would have liked in an attempt to make it more comfortable for Gavin who had fallen silent but still grunted every now and again. And yet, he could barely remember anything, knowing faintly that he had been whispering meaningless comforts to Gavin, but he was not able to remember what it was he said. He seemed to arrive at the shelter having skipped several minutes of his life, despite the tediousness of the long walk there.

And then everything happened suddenly. He walked through the front door, eyes darting around for the two people who he had met earlier, but before he could find them another man with an impressive beard greeted him at the door, before seeing Gavin and gasping and immediately stuffing his hand through his pocket and calling for an ambulance, whilst a smaller man seemed to materialize at his side, eyes-wide and frantic as he called out to Gavin. And then Gavin was being taken away from him as the medics arrived and he was guided into the back of the ambulance alongside the two other man, and there was meaningless yelling as medics rushed about the back of the ambulance and he was pestered with questions and he didn't know whether he answered them or not, but eventually he was left alone to his own thoughts, as the sirens of the ambulance whirred into the night.

* * *

 Geoff was speeding and he didn't give a fuck. Michael sat next to him, expression hardened but unable to hide the sheer worry and panic in his eyes. The silence was drowned out by only the roar of the engine and the sound of his own heavy breathing. His hands were white where he was gripping the steering wheel too tightly, but he didn't care. He just needed to get to the hospital _now_.

Jack's phone call had shaken his entire world, and he couldn't begin to justify the sickening nausea he felt at Gavin's pain. Jack's voice had been so distant, and he could hear the little tremors and shaky breath as he spoke that betrayed his own panic. And there been some mention about how only Burnie was now left at the shelter and they were going to get in shit, but Geoff didn't care about that either.

Right now, he didn't care about anything other than Gavin and getting to him as soon as was humanly possible.

He barely even registered the hospital building growing up into the cityscape in front of him, and it was only instinct that made him slow down and pull into the overpriced parking lot, and he didn't care about how much it was going to cost to stay here. He got out of the car, breathing like he had run here and realising blankly that he had forgotten to wear his seatbelt.

Michael shuffled next to him, worrying his lip between his teeth as he stared up at the hospital with something almost akin to fear. Geoff pressed his hand against Michael's back and gently led him towards the hospital before making their way to the reception. And then there had been shouting, mostly on his part, because they had no information, and they wouldn't let him see him, and now they were asking him about Gavin's insurance, and he just didn't fucking care he wanted to see Gavin. He wanted to make sure the kid was alright.

His tirade only stopped when he felt a familiar arm wrap around his shoulder and Jack whisper something calming into his ear. He huffed, glowering at the reception lady, but still let himself lean into Jack's side and be led back towards the waiting area. Michael followed stiffly behind him.

"What the hell is going on?" Michael snapped, before Geoff had the chance. Ray brushed a gentle hand up and down his arm, where he was sat quietly as though in shock. Jack sighed, brushing a hand through his hair but it wasn't him that replied.

"He was attacked by a gang." It was the Vagabond that answered. He wasn't wearing his mask, and he looked younger somehow, with his rucksack sat on his lap and his arms hugged around it.

"I thought you said you didn't know where he was!" Michael yelled, turning a few heads. Jack raised a hand in warning, gesturing for Michael to sit down next to Ray.

"I went looking after you came to me." The Vagabond replied slowly. Geoff watched him carefully, still feeling distrustful of the other man and it evidently showed on his face because Jack picked up on it.

"Geoff, he helped. He brought Gavin to us, he's not the bad guy here." Jack said calmly. The Vagabond ducked his head, turning away morosely. Geoff stared at him for a moment, before reluctantly sitting down in the space next to Jack.

* * *

 It was a few more hours before they got any news. Within that time Jack had managed to arrange with Meg to cover for them at the shelter, to which Geoff had only responded with a grunt when told. His eyes had been only on the clock that ticked steadily on, the sound hidden beneath the general chatter and the occasional chaos as people were rushed in and out of the ER.

Ray was dozing restlessly, leaning his head against Michael's lap as he spread out across the bench, receiving a few hard stares from others, despite the fact there were several seats available. Michael hadn't said much, just gritted his teeth and stared resolutely ahead, eyes dulled as his focus turned inward. It was only Jack who tried to make conversation. Mainly by talking at, if not too, the Vagabond who sat awkwardly opposite them, fiddling with the straps on his rucksack and failing to look up.

It was then that a nurse arrived, glancing listlessly around the waiting room until his eyes found them. He smiled, a little tight around the lips, and it didn't quite reach his eyes, but at least he wasn't frowning. Geoff got to his feet as their eyes met and closed the distance between them.

"You're with Gavin Free?" The nurse checked. Geoff narrowed his eyes impatiently, but nodded, eager to get to the point. "His condition is stable. He's got a couple of broken ribs, and a broken ankle, and his shoulder was quite badly dislocated. Other than that, he has a lot of bruising but thankfully no internal damage. He's still a bit drowsy, mainly from the pain killers and the concussion he had, but we're hoping to discharge him by morning."

"You want to discharge him already?" Jack asked, eyebrows raised. The nurse nodded warily. "Surely he should stay in for a few more days at least, I mean, if he has broken bones than I'm assuming you operated on him, correct? Then wouldn't you want to keep an eye out for possible complications? Besides, you do realise he's homeless, right? You can't expect him to go back to the street with those injuries."

"I'm afraid we can't really keep him any longer. We realise that his financial position is far from great, and as such his treatment is being paid for by Medicaid. But we're only required to stabilize emergency conditions, once that is done we have to discharge him." The nurse explained, shrugging in a vaguely apologetic way.

"That's bullshit." Michael muttered, just barely loud enough for the nurse to hear, to which he frowned, a flash of irritation in his eyes.

"I assume you want to visit him. We can't let all five of you in at once. The max is two at a time." The nurse explained, brushing a hand through his hair. "I'll show you where he is. The rest of you can just wait outside." The nurse explained, not waiting for a confirmation before starting to walk away.

Geoff followed him, glancing behind briefly to make sure that everyone else was coming. Jack had come up by his side, but was looking thoroughly disgruntled. Behind him Michael had shaken Ray awake, and now the younger man was following wearily, his eyes looking a little bloodshot. It was the Vagabond who trailed behind, looking thoroughly out of place in their little group.

"Here it is. Remember, two people max, okay?" The nurse gestured towards the door, before hurrying back down the corridor he had led them up. Geoff watched him go, unable to help the bitterness that bled into his expression.

"You two go ahead. We'll wait a bit." Michael decided, waving Geoff and Jack in. Geoff glanced at them thankfully, before carefully pushing the door open, the waft of bleached walls and burnt food, alongside the faint beep and whirl of hospital equipment that drifted through the room met him.

Gavin was sat upwards, scratching idly at the sling on his right arm as they walked in. He looked up, eyes widening as he recognised them and a smile exploding on his face as he leaned further up. Geoff smiled back, grabbing one of the nearby seats and scrapping it along the floor until he pulled it up to the side of Gavin's bed.

"Hey buddy, how you doing?" He greeted, his eyes trailing down Gavin's body, but most of his injuries were hidden by the cover. His face looked a mess, bruised and swelling, darkly discoloured and hideously painful to look at. Geoff winced at the sight.

"I'm okay. I mean, the painkillers they have me on are pretty great." He replied with a shrug, leaning back against the bed that was inclined upwards.

"Have the police talked to you?" Jack asked, leaning back into his own chair that he had grabbed. Gavin shook his head.

"I don't think they're involved. Doesn't really matter though, I mean, they're not exactly going to be able to do anything." Gavin shrugged, scratching at the sling on his arm again. Geoff gently knocked his hand away.

"Stop that." He said, rolling his eyes at Gavin's intent pout.

"It's itchy!"

"Scratching will only make it worse." Jack pointed out, smiling slightly. Gavin huffed. "The others are waiting outside by the way." Jack added after a moment, to which Gavin's previous excitement returned.

"Is Ryan with them?" He asked tentatively. Jack nodded, smiling as Gavin beamed, straining his head towards the door as though he could see the others through it.

"They're only letting two of us at a time." Jack pointed out.

"Ah, weak!" Gavin exclaimed, a slight whine to his voice. Geoff snorted. There was a brief moment of silence then, not uncomfortable, but Gavin looked down, his brows pinching together and clearly thinking about something. Geoff waited patiently.

"Do you know, um, well with payment? They mentioned something, but I was a bit out of it, and I can't remember what they said...I don't really understand, you know, the American system..." Gavin mumbled, picking at the rough fabric of the thin sheet that was wrapped around his body. Geoff could see now the tension radiating through the younger man's body, and the worry in his eyes was evident.

"You're fine. They have you on Medicaid, so you don't have to pay or worry about it." Geoff pointed out, wanting to reach out and touch Gavin, to offer some physical comfort, but wary of aggravating his injuries.

"Oh, okay."

"Do you know they're discharging you in the morning?" Jack asked carefully. Gavin looked up, shaking his head, gnawing on his bottom lip despite the fact that it had clearly already been cut open.

"It's fine. There's no way you're going back on the streets with those injuries. You're staying with us." Geoff decided them, quite suddenly, despite the fact he had already been contemplating it whilst in the waiting room. Jack looked up at him sharply, but didn't say anything. "The others too, if they agree. Fucking too dangerous on those streets. Anyone of you could be attacked." Geoff continued regardless, ignoring Jack's look. He knew it was a dick move to offer without asking Jack, who did after all own half the apartment, but fuck, he knew Jack was worried too.

"I...you don't have to do that..." Gavin said, trailing off and looking honestly dumbstruck.

"No. It makes sense. You can't exactly heal if you're living on the streets." Jack agreed, still glaring at Geoff but stroking comfortingly along Gavin's arm.

"Thank you..." Gavin said quietly, a faint blush hidden behind the bruises on his cheeks. "When you say the others...do you mean Ryan as well?" Gavin asked, peeking up warily.

"I..." Geoff started, breaking off as he looked up at Jack, who sat back in his chair, crossing his arms as he shrugged, his lips pressed into a tight line.

"I know you don't know him well, and you don't have to, but well...if you're talking about danger, I mean, he's probably in the most danger from the gangs, especially if he helped me out..."

"I mean, we'll ask, but I don't know if he'll say yes." Geoff said. "I just, are you sure he's safe?" He added, rubbing the back of his neck. Gavin nodding eagerly.

"Yeah, I know he has this scary persona, but he's really kind and I mean, he's helped me out twice now, so yeah, he's safe."

"Okay. I'll ask. I imagine convincing Michael and Ray will be hard, let along the Vagabond." He pointed out. Gavin frowned.

"I can convince them." He offered, a spark of determination in his eyes, before it was swiftly cut off by a yawn that seemed to resonate through the Brit's entire body. Geoff got to his feet, resting his hand on Gavin's back as he smiled fondly at the younger man.

"We'll let the others talk to you before you pass out." He suggested. Gavin smiled up at him, rubbing at his eyes with his left hand, looking more like a child than anything else.  He hovered by the door as Jack patted the Brit’s good arm, murmuring a quiet farewell before following after Geoff. 

Michael and Ray were already up and pacing outside the door, with the vagabond sitting to the side and watching them both with a purposely blank expression. They paused as Jack closed the door gently behind them with a small click.

“You can go visit him now. He’s looking quite tired but he seems okay.” Jack stated, smiling softly at Michael who moved towards the door immediately, Ray tagging behind a little slower.

“Wait two secs…” Geoff interrupted, placing a hand on Michael’s shoulder and steering him back a little. The younger man looked up at him questioningly. “I just offered Gavin to stay at ours for a while, whilst he’s healing. You two are also welcome to stay.”

“Uh, Geoff…” Michael said, moving back a bit and rubbing his neck. Ray blinked slowly, moving in beside Michael. “I don’t know…” He trailed off, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Look, it’s clearly not safe at the moment. If Gavin got attacked, you guys could also get attacked. I don’t want you guys being in danger.” He pointed out sternly.

“I mean, you don’t have to do that…” Michael murmured quietly.

“Yeah, it seems like we’d be a bit intrusive.” Ray added, the corners of his lips twitching into a frown.

“Guys, Geoff has a point.” Jack piped out, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed and a thoughtful expression on his face. “At least stay for a few days, for Gavin’s sake if nothing else.” Michael and Ray glanced at each other, communicating a million different thoughts with nothing but a look.

“We’ll think about it.” Michael decided with a curt nod.

“Do. I’m pretty sure Gavin is going to try and convince you as well.” Geoff pointed out. Michael smiled at that, shaking his head with a huff as he made his way into Gavin’s room, Ray on his heels.

“That offer goes for you too Vagabond.” Geoff added, glancing at the other man who startled, looking up sharply with a furrowed brow at being addressed. Jack muttered something about grabbing a drink as Geoff took the one vacant seat next to the Vagabond.

“You barely know me.” He replied, staring at Geoff with open confusion. He even thought he saw a flash of suspicion in the other’s eyes. “And my name’s Ryan.” He added, a touch bitterly as he looked back down at where his hands were resting in his lap. Geoff quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah I know.” He dragged a hand through his hair, leaning back further in the seat and stretching his legs out. “You seem like the type that prefers the title to the name though.” He mused. Ryan stared at him, something heated in his gaze and Geoff was reminded of why he didn’t trust this guy.

“Besides, Gavin wants you to stay. He’s worried about you or something.” Geoff said with a shrug when the other man failed to respond. He was pretty sure that Ryan almost smiled then.

“He should be more worried about himself. “ Ryan grunted. Geoff huffed.

“I know what you mean, but when you say it, it manages to sound like a threat dude.” Ryan frowned at him, scrunching his brows together.

“It wasn’t…”

“I know, I was just joking.” Geoff rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “You don’t get out a lot do you?” He muttered, rolling his eyes.

“I’m homeless. If anything I get out too much.” Ryan replied. Geoff stared at him, noticing the faint trace of humour in his expression.

“You know what I mean you dick.” He huffed, elbowing the other man. “Anyway, think about the offer will you.” Geoff said, cracking his neck as he changed the subject. Ryan pressed his lips together in thought.

“Maybe for a day or two I guess. Just to see how Gavin is doing.” Ryan said after a moment, eyes darting down the corridor where Jack had reappeared with a drink in his hand. Geoff hummed in acknowledge, straightening up as Jack came up to hover beside them.

* * *

 

Ray was honestly so tired; he had spent the last few hours whilst they were waiting for Gavin to be discharged just staring at a single crack on the white hospital wall. Honestly, it felt like his eyelids were sandpaper as he tried to blink away the tiredness as he propped himself up on the passenger door of Geoff's car as they drove back to his place.

Jack and Ryan had taken a taxi as there wasn't enough space in the car, and Michael had gone with them, muttering something about not trusting Ryan alone with Jack, which was pretty ridiculous but he was too tired to really get on Michael's case about it.

Geoff drummed the steering wheel as they waited at the red light, staring fondly at Gavin, who was dozing fitfully, with his mouth open and a sliver of drool coming out. Ray didn't envy the Brit at the moment, even if the painkillers were basically knocking him out, he could see the furrowed brows and sheen of sweat even in sleep. He doubted the hospital had even bothered to give him their stronger painkillers.

They moved off again, rolling smoothly down the deserted roads. It was about 10 AM when they had been discharged, but the sun still failed to do anything but wash out the world in a faint sheen of orange.

He groaned quietly, rubbing lazily at his eyes as he leaned his head against the window, trying to ignore the shudders that ricocheted through his skull. He let his eyes flicker close, wishing he had any change of falling asleep in this car but it had been a while since he had ridden in a car, and it was making his stomach roll with the beginning signs of nausea that tethered him to the waking world

Gavin stirred with a low moan as the car came rolling to a stop outside a small house, partially hidden by the creeping Ivy and high bushes that climbed around its wall like a leafy barrier. Geoff pulled the handbrake on, stretching out before turning towards Gavin, shaking him gently to get him to awaken.

"Hey buddy, we're here." Geoff said quietly with a gentle smile. Gavin blinked, rubbing his good arm across his eyes.

Ray opened the car door, grabbing the crutches that were spread out across the seat next to him and helping to open Gavin's car door. The Brit looked up at him, his eyes dulled with a mixture of painkillers and tiredness, but he still managed a small smile. Geoff came to stand next to him, gesturing him to take a step back, as he lifted Gavin up and out of the car. Ray passed the crutch, which Geoff fixed under Gavin's good arm, carefully steadying the younger man as he stumbled forward slightly before managing to right himself, leaning heavily on the crutch.

"Go open the door." Geoff said, passing him the keys. Ray nodded, glancing back at the two of them as he rushed forward and quickly unlocked the door. He peered in curiously. He had never seen where Jack and Geoff lived before. It was smaller than he had anticipated, but he supposed it was cosy; from here he could see the stairs that climbed up to the second floor, and a couple of doors, as well as a living room with an old stained couch that was connected to a small kitchen.

Geoff tumbled in after a moment, with Gavin leaning heavily against his side, clearly not used to having to use a crutch. Geoff met his gaze and nodded him towards one of the nearby doors, tucked in front of the stairs and to the side of the front door. Ray moved towards it, propping the door open. Inside was a small bedroom, with nothing much but a small bed, and a wardrobe. The floor was littered with various articles of clothing, and the remnants of food wrappers, and a few cans here and there.

 "This your room then?" He guessed, staring pointedly at the messed. Geoff huffed, helping to lower Gavin onto the bed.

"Shut up, I wasn't exactly expecting guests tonight." Geoff grumbled, pulling back the duvet cover and wrapping Gavin in, even as the Brit struggled up into a sitting position with his back resting against the headboard.

"Oi, idiot lie down and get some rest." Geoff said, flicking Gavin on the nose, gently guiding him into a lying position. Gavin pouted, squeaking out a complaint, even as his head lolled tiredly to the side.

"Bully." Gavin mumbled, even as he wrapped his arms around the duvet and pulled it close with a satisfied sigh, letting his eyes flutter close.

"Here, I'll show you the spare room quickly. You look knackered too." Geoff said after a moment of simply watching Gavin surrender to the pull of sleep. Ray yawned then, unable to help it, but Geoff just smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder and leading him out of the room and upstairs.

"You fine if you top and tail with Michael?" Geoff asked, approaching a door that was already cracked open. It wasn't much of a room, it just barely had the space for a single mattress that was actually too long for the room, and thus kept the door propped open with the corner of its back legs. The opposite wall was lined with a desk where an old computer hummed quietly. It was a squeeze for Ray alone to walk into the room, but he didn't exactly care much as he immediately clambered into the bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." He murmured quietly, curling up into the mattress. He heard Geoff retreat, but was surprised when the older man came back, a thin cover draped over his arm, and a couple of pillows clasped in his hands that he then threw down at Ray.

"Thanks." He said, letting Geoff wrap the sheet over him as he closed his eyes. Downstairs he heard the front door open, and could hear familiar voices echoing up the stairs. Geoff said something, before heading back down, but Ray was already surrendering to sleep.  He barely stirred even when a few minutes later Michael crawled into the bed beside him.

* * *

 

He woke hours later. He groaned, turning on his side and feeling a pang of disappointment that he failed to dwell on when he saw that Michael was no longer by his side. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, stretching his back as he padded out of the bed. He went downstairs, figuring that at the very least he could see how Gavin was doing.

It was dark out now. He must have slept for a while, although it was probably still just edging into evening. He supressed a yawn as he slowly opened the door to the room where he remembered they had placed Gavin the night before. His eyes fell immediately on the bed where Gavin was wrapped up in the blankets like a toasty burrito and he thought about backing up to avoid waking the man when he spotted Ryan sitting, arms crossed next to the sleeping man.

"Uh, hi." He said, rubbing the back of his neck when the other man looked up at him. Ray closed the door quietly behind him, taking an awkward step into the room. He could see the black bags under Ryan's eyes, a stark contrast to his otherwise pale face. "Have you slept at all?"

"No." Ryan said, shaking his head tightly, his eyes drifting back towards Gavin. Ray shuffled on his feet.

"You look like shit man, you should try and get some sleep." He pointed out. Ryan blinked, glancing at him curiously.

"Jack had to go back to work and Geoff went to pick up some medication for him." He said, the seat creaking as he shifted. "I said I'd keep an eye on him whilst you two were sleeping."

"Where's Michael?"

"In the living room. He keeps coming in here though." Ryan replied, rolling his shoulders back with a resounding click.

"You should go get some sleep. I'll watch him if you want." Ray offered. Ryan ran his tongue over his lips, contemplating.

"I don't know where I should sleep." Ryan admitted. Ray quirked an eyebrow at the strange vulnerability in the other man's voice.

"You can take the spare room for now." Ray said, taking a step towards Ryan and reaching a hand out. Ryan stared at it for a moment before grabbing his hand and letting him help him to his feet.

"Thank you." Ryan said quietly, with a faint nod before he walked towards the door. Just as he was walking the door opened, and Michael crept in. The two made eye contact for a moment, Ryan breaking it to glance down at the floor and shift carefully past Michael, as Michael glared daggers at him.

"What's that about?" Ray intercepted as Ryan closed the door behind him, taking the now vacant seat as he stared up at Michael with a raised eyebrow.

"I just don't like him." Michael said with a shrug.

"Why not? He seems nice..." Ray pointed out, rolling his eyes at Michael's scowl.

"He seems creepy." Michael retorted, gritting his teeth. Ray huffed.

 "Yeah, he doesn't have the best social skills I'll give you that, but he seems like an okay person. He helped Gavin after all."

 "I don't trust him. You know what people say about him, about what he's done and stuff. I just think it's very convenient that the minute we go asking him where Gavin is, he shows up and finds Gavin within minutes when we couldn't after searching for hours." Michael suggested, eyes blazing protectively as they rested on Gavin, who stirred, twisting onto his side with a few indiscernible noises falling from his lips.

"If Ryan had hurt him, Gavin would tell us." Ray pointed out, furrowing his eyes at the tension radiating off the other man.

"If he had gang connections like everyone says, then he could have arranged all of this."

"You're starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist." Ray interrupted, rising to his feet and approaching Michael, resting his hands on the other man's shoulder and meeting his eyes. "Relax. Gavin's not as stupid as he looks. If he trusts him, then so can we."

"I have a bad feeling about him." Michael muttered, dropping his shoulders even as he melted into Ray's touch. Ray snorted.

"You said the same thing about Geoff. And Jack. And I'm sure you thought the same thing about me when we met." Ray pointed out. "Give him a chance. For Gavin's sake if no one else's. You might find you actually like him." Michael huffed disbelievingly, but remained stubbornly silent. Ray sighed, retreating back to the seat and turning his attention back to Gavin. After a moment Michael padded up next to him and sat cross legged at his feet. Ray smiled down at him.

* * *

 

Ray was fucking starving. He knew Michael was too. It'd been a couple of days since they'd been with Geoff and Jack, and they hadn't eaten since then. Hadn't even thought of checking the kitchen for food, not fully sure that they were actually allowed to eat food that was not there's and not wanting to be a burden.

Jack and Geoff came in at unusual hours, which were the joys of working a night shift he supposed, but other than ensuring they had food for Gavin which they kept in his room so he didn't have to get up and stumble to the kitchen, they didn't actually bring up food at all. Ray didn't want to impose by asking.

There was a quiet knock on the door. Michael quirked an eyebrow, but stayed sitting on the couch where some shitty action film was playing on the crackly tv. Ray rolled his eyes, getting up and walking towards the door. He knew who it would be before he even opened it.

Ryan stood uneasily outside, shifting his weight constantly as he glanced around the neighbourhood. The other man kept leaving to go to his shifts, because by some miracle the Vagabond had managed to get a paying job. He always seemed conflicted about coming back though.

"I got some food for you guys." Ryan said, lifting up the plastic bag that was wrapped tightly around his wrist. Ray felt his mouth start to water as he stood aside to let Ryan in.

"Fucking A dude." He exclaimed, walking in eagerly after Ryan who deposited the bags on the living room floor. Michael straightened up, looking down at the plastic bags curiously.

"Help yourself." Ryan said, leaning back on his hunches as he tipped the bag upside down to reveal several ready meals, and an assortment of snacks. All stuff that could be eaten immediately, without having to cook. Ray tore into a packet of cocktail sausages, with a joyous laughter. Michael slipped off of the couch, and cautiously grabbed a couple of chocolate bars he found.

They heard a door open, and Geoff, who had managed to wrangle some time off to stay with Gavin, crept into the living room with a raised eyebrow. Ryan averted eye contact, looking slightly shifty as he carefully started to place the rubbish into the remaining plastic bag.

"Why'd you buy food?" Geoff asked, rubbing at the corner of his eyes tiredly as he leaned down and stole a cocktail sausage from Ray's hand. "I thought we had plenty." He said, still munching on the sausage.

Ray swallowed heavily, suddenly finding the carpet far more interesting, as he tangled his finger in the loose strands. Across from him Michael shuffled uncomfortably, turning his attention back to the TV and away from the conversation. Ryan just sat frozen with wide-eyes.

"What?" Geoff said, concern creeping into his voice. "Guys, what's up?" He asked, eyes darting around the three of them. Ryan managed to tear his gaze away this time. Geoff blinked. "You...you know you are allowed to eat our stuff, right?" Everyone remained silent.

"Jesus Christ guys, I didn't offer you to stay here just so I could starve you." Geoff exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. "You can help yourself to anything here. Seriously. You don't have to ask." Geoff pointed out, the exasperation only faintly hiding his anxious horror.

"We didn't want to be a burden." Ray pointed out quietly when no one replied. Geoff looked at him, brows pinched together in worry. Ray shrugged, turning away.

"You guys aren't burdens." Geoff said sternly. "That's it, I'm going to go make dinner right now and you're all eating." Geoff decided, muttering something more to himself as he paced towards the kitchen, with a heavy eye roll as he went.

And as it turned out Geoff was a bloody good cook.

* * *

 

Gavin had managed to all-but shake off his persistent tiredness, which was good in the sense of his recovery, but bad in the sense that now he wasn't sleeping pretty much 24/7 he had become possibly the worse patient in human history. A fact Ryan was learning rather quickly as he once more caught Gavin trying to sneak into the living room unaided, despite the fact that with only one good arm and leg, walking on a single crutch was perilous at best. Not to mention Gavin's already precarious sense of balance.

"Rye-bread!" Gavin whined as Ryan guided him back to the room with a huff. "I'm bored!" He complained, throwing himself back against Ryan's chest and gazing up at him with a prominent lip pout. "At least let me watch TV!" He added pitifully.

"Fine. But stop walking around on your own." He grumbled, pushing Gavin away from his chest and helping lead him into the living room with a sigh.

"I'm fine. I have a crutch." Gavin mumbled. Ryan raised his eyebrows, shaking his head as he helped plonk Gavin up on the couch. Ray and Michael had already retired for the night, whilst Jack and Geoff were doing their shift at the shelter.

"A crutch you can barely use. You should be in a wheelchair." He pointed out, grabbing a few cushions from the adjacent armchair and using it to prop up Gavin's injured leg.

"I can use it!" Gavin claimed childishly. Ryan stared at him exasperated. "I mean, for the most part...."

"You've fallen over twice today." Ryan retorted. "Which is why you're not meant to be walking around on your own." He sighed, turning on the tv and settling down on the floor in front of Gavin, his back pressed up on the couch as he passed the younger man the remote.

"But it's so boring having to wait around for other people to help." Gavin muttered, fiddling with the fabric of the couch.

"I was literally gone for 5 minutes whilst I went to the toilet." Ryan grumbled, tilting his head back to stare at the Brit.

"Okay fine." Gavin snapped. "It's embarrassing then."

"Since when do you care about that?" Ryan asked, craning his neck to meet Gavin's eyes. The younger man shrugged. The tv flickered as he picked a channel, sinking back into the couch with a pout as the sounds washed over them.

"I'd prefer to be independent." Gavin added after a moment.

"It's okay to rely on other people." Ryan pointed out, shifting onto his knees as he turned to face Gavin properly. The Brit hummed, reaching out with his good hand to brush through Ryan's hair. Ryan leaned into the touch, reaching up and grabbing Gavin's hand in his own.

"Sit on the couch." Gavin suggested, lifting himself into a sitting position. Ryan raised an eyebrow, but lifted himself up into the small space that Gavin had made for him. Gavin sighed happily, lying back down with his head on Ryan's lap, smiling softly as Ryan gently scratched his scalp.

Ryan wanted to ask him then whether he had thought more about the kiss. But Gavin was relaxed, and he didn't want to destroy that, especially when Gavin was still happy to reach out and seek comfort in him. But at the same time he desperately wanted more. Even just to be able to lean down and kiss the younger man, even say that he loved him. But he remained silent, turning his gaze towards the tv screen even as his thoughts whirred.

* * *

 

Ryan thought that Jack must have been a nurse in a past life, just by the sheer amount of patience he possessed and his gentle touch despite his strong frame. After the last few days Jack had taken over most of Gavin’s care, regularly checking his temperature and adjusting his bandages when necessary. Even offering him physical comfort when the pain became a bit too much.  

"You and Gavin are close right?" Jack asked, as he chucked the dirtied sheets into the laundry basket by his feet. Ryan hummed in agreement, hanging back as he watched Jack change the bed sheets whilst Gavin was in the living room with Michael and Ray. "I can tell. You seem very fond of him." Jack mused.

"Everyone seems fond of him." Ryan said, shuffling his weight awkwardly. Jack smiled, unfolding the clean sheet and struggling to stretch it out across the bed. Ryan walked forward and helped him out, tucking the sheet into the back corners of the mattress whilst Jack dragged it out.

I guess that's true." Jack said after they finished getting the sheet on, meeting Ryan's gaze with a smile.

"There's not many people who would open up their house as easily as you have done." Ryan pointed out, eyes scanning over Jack thoughtfully.

"I mean, Gavin needs somewhere to stay right?" Jack said, waving him off with a shrug. Ryan tilted his head.

"You didn't just open your house for him." Ryan added. Jack frowned, grabbing some of the waste that had collected over the last few days and chucking them into a black bag.  "It is very kind of you." Ryan said after a moment.

"I think most people are kind. I don't think we're unusual in that." Jack said, blushing faintly. Ryan blinked.

"Not in my experience."

"Well, I mean sure there are some crap people, but I think everyone's capable of kindness." Jack argued, patting him on the back as he walked past him to grab some more randomly strewn clothes that had collected on the floor.

 "When does Gavin have to go back to the hospital?" He asked, changing the subject. Jack glanced at him, no doubt in his expression at what Ryan was doing.

"Not for a few weeks yet. Only when he's getting the casts off." Jack replied, tying up the black bag and lifting up the laundry basket. "Come on, I'll let you decide what we're having for dinner." He said. Ryan huffed, following him as he walked towards the kitchen.

* * *

"Ryan..." Gavin said, turning to face him with a blush as Ryan helped him to move the plate he had been eating from onto the bedside table and out of his way. Ryan raised an eyebrow, prodding him to continue. "I haven't washed in a few days. I kind of want to have a shower." He continued, his cheeks burning red.

"You need help?" Ryan guessed. Gavin nodded, giggling awkwardly. "A bath might be easier." Ryan pointed out, trying to think of what would work with Gavin's currently limited mobility.

"I just want to be clean." Gavin shrugged.

"Okay, let's figure out how to do this." Ryan said, getting to his feet and passing Gavin his crutch as he helped the younger man up. Gavin stumbled into his side, still blushing profusely. He guided them into the bathroom, which was thankfully not far, and deposited the Brit on the toilet seat.

"Wait here." He ordered, leaving the bathroom and searching through the cupboard under the stairs for the black bags. He pulled a few bags off and walked back to the bathroom, to the sight of Gavin tangled up in his shirt and cursing profusely as he struggled, about to fall of the seat before Ryan moved forward to prop him back up. He grabbed the bottom of the shirt with one hand and gently lifted it up, making sure to gently untangle Gavin's injured arm, and pull the shirt over his head.

Ryan couldn't help the way his eyes dated towards Gavin's bruise-littered torso. He brushed his hand gently over one of the bruises across Gavin's ribs, which was still a dark shade of black, with a faint crusting of blue around it. Gavin shivered under the soft touch.

"Take your pants off if you can." Ryan suggested, turning towards the bath and turning the taps, feeling the temperature carefully with his hand.

"Wouldn't a shower be quicker?" Gavin suggested, his hands wrapped self-consciously over his chest.

"You could slip." Ryan pointed out. He stepped up, seeing that Gavin had yet to make a move to undress himself further. He stared at the shoulder sling, trying to figure out a way to prevent it from getting wet. "Fuck it." He muttered to himself, wrapping the black bag around the arm, ignoring the way Gavin stared at him in confusion, and trying to ignore the way it didn't fully cover the sling where it wrapped around Gavin's shoulder. "Try to stay sat up in the bath." Ryan advised, not certain how careful he had to be to prevent the sling from getting wet.

Gavin was really skinny. Ryan hadn't fully noticed the extent to which his ribs pressed up against his skin, making the outline obvious and the way his stomach indented inwards, instead of having a normal, healthy pouch. It wasn't surprising, not when Gavin had a small frame anyway and had spent the last month or more homeless. But it still made him worried.

"Liking what you see?" Gavin teased. Ryan glanced up at him, smirking when Gavin blushed.

"You're skinny as fuck." Ryan pointed out. "Plus is it even possible to have that much chest hair?" He mocked, plucking a small hair and laughing at Gavin's spluttered squawk.

"It's insulating!" Gavin exclaimed, slapping his hand away. "It keeps me warm." He claimed with a small smirk.

"You know what? I could see that. There's basically enough there to make a fur coat." He teased back.

"You're mean." Gavin grumbled, mock insult spreading across his features. Ryan smirked. 

"Come on, take your pants off." He said, glancing towards the bath tub that was rapidly filling. He walked over to it and tested the temperature, before turning the hot tap on full force.

"You perv." Gavin grumbled, pulling at the top of his pants with one arm, and failing to make any significant progress. Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Here let me do it." He suggested, walking back and tugging Gavin's pants off with a swift tug, mindful of his ankle. Gavin squeaked and blushed.

"You're not meant to look!" Gavin complained.

"I'm giving you a bath, there's no way I can avoid looking" Ryan pointed out. "Besides you're still wearing underwear."

"You're still wearing underwear." Gavin retorted childishly. Ryan quirked an eyebrow.

"I usually go commando." Gavin spluttered, staring up at him with wide eyes, before his gaze trailed downwards. "Don't get excited, I'm joking." He mocked, laughing at Gavin's indignant expression. "Anyway, take your underwear off, the bath is basically ready."

"You have to turn around then." Gavin grumbled.

"I'm going to see it anyway." Ryan sighed, exasperated. Gavin glared at him. "Fine!" He said, resigned as he turned around. A few moments passed. "Can I turned round now?"

"Okay, but you can't look." Gavin said.

"I can't do both genius." Ryan pointed out, turning around anyway, and ignoring Gavin's stuttered complaint as he dropped to his knees in front of the younger man and wrapped his cast in the black bag to prevent it getting wet. He stood up sharply, and gestured for Gavin to get up to.

Gavin stumbled upwards, blushing furiously as he limped towards the bath, leaning on Ryan most of the time. Ryan pretty much lifted him up to get him over the bath edge, which was frustratingly high, before gently dropping the younger man into the water, getting the sleeves of his shirt wet in the process.

"Bubble bath!" Gavin yelled suddenly, snapping forward and reaching for a bottle of bubble bath mixture he had somehow managed to locate in the space of a few seconds. Why two grown man had bloody bubble bath mixture was beyond him, but he merely smiled as Gavin poured a gracious amount into the bathtub.

* * *

 

Getting him out of the bath was a lot more difficult, and resulted in Ryan getting splashed dramatically, to which Gavin merely giggled. Ryan had almost decided to simply abandon him in the tub but he knew Gavin would still try to get out. He was still wiping foam out of his hair as he pulled Gavin, wrapped up snugly in a towel, towards the bedroom and on the bed with a huff.

The door to the room smashed open and they both jumped, with Gavin letting out a sharp yelp. Ryan blinked, taking a step back as Michael walked in, positively seething with rage, as his eyes seemed to glow and fixed on Ryan, something almost murderous in their depths. Ray stumbled in next to him, looking startled and suddenly very small next to the rage radiating off of Michael which was filling the room.

"Get the fuck out of here Haywood, or I'm calling the fucking police you complete and utter cunt." Michael hissed. Ryan swallowed, widening the distance between them, wary of the way Michael kept clenching his hands into fists.

"Michael?" Gavin called meekly from the bed, wide-eyed where his hair was still dripping wet and clinging to the outline of his face.

"Michael, maybe you should wait for Geoff and Jack..." Ray suggested quietly. Michael narrowed his eyes, his face burning red as he marched forward.

"Get the fuck out Haywood." Michael growled, leaning towards him, and even with the height difference, the sight was intimidating.

"What is this about?" He said, warily holding his hands up defensively.

"You, acting like you're all innocent and kind and whatever the fuck you think you are, when you're a complete and utter lunatic sociopath murderer!" Michael yelled, smashing his fist into the side of Ryan's cheek. He stumbled back with a gasp, his back hitting the wall with a thud and preventing any further retreat. Across the room Gavin and Ray were yelling, but the noise faded into the background as he met Michael's furious gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ryan defended, breathing heavily. Michael snarled, full animalistic fury flowing off of him.

"Ryan ain't your real name. There's no one called Ryan Haywood. You're Edgar Haywood, the fucking maniac who raped and murdered seven young men. And you can damn well choke on your own dick before you think you can do it again." Michael yelled.

Ryan choked on his own breath, a strangled whimper escaping him as he clawed into the wall behind him. He closed his eyes, shaking his head pitifully and trying to ignore the shocked silence that had descended over the room. He didn't want to look up and see the way the others were looking at him now.

"No, no, no you don't understand." He muttered under his breath, opening his eyes and meeting Michael, his whole world suddenly focused on just the other man and right then he felt his own rage bubbling up because how dare he think he had the right to search him up, to look into his personal life and bring this things crashing down on him, _how fucking dare he!_            

"There's nothing to understand. It was all over the news." Michael said with a smug grin that showed too much teeth. "I saw the picture. No wonder you try and hide your face."

"Edgar Haywood is dead you complete and utter fucking idiot!" He snapped, punching the wall behind him. Michael took a wary step back. "He was shot in 2005 after escaping. Or did you not figure that out in your fucking search?" He growled. "You saw the name, you saw the blurry picture or whatever and you didn't even think about searching further before you come in here and accuse me of things I didn't fucking do!"

"There's no one called Ryan Haywood that matches you." Michael said defensively.

"That's coz Ryan is my middle name you fucking cunt. My name is James Ryan Haywood you dick." He growled, lips curling downwards into a snarl.

"The picture..."

"The picture looks like me because Edgar Haywood is my fucking son of a bitch father." He snapped. There was silence again, but this time he could hear himself panting. "He's my father." He added again, quieter this time. His nostrils flared as he tried to calm his breathing but he couldn't. He could see everyone staring at him, and this was exactly why he didn't make friends. Because it always came down to this.

"Well..." Michael stuttered, glancing down at the floor, but Ryan didn't have any more time for this.

"Get the fuck away from me!" He hissed, pushing past the other man and storming out of the room, throwing the door violently shut behind him and probably almost ripping it off of its hinges. He heard the voices inside start yelling again, building up into a crescendo but he didn't care. He growled, stomping towards the front door and yanking it open, not even bothering to make sure it was close before breaking out into a frantic run.

* * *

 

He thought of not coming back. It wouldn't be the first time he'd run away without a word. But he couldn't do that now. Not to Gavin, not when there was still a chance that the younger man might have feelings for him. He couldn't even do it to Michael, because even though he was furious and hurt about what he had done, Ryan knew that Michael and Gavin had a friendship that he didn't have the right to break. If he left now, Gavin would blame Michael and that wasn't fair on either of them.

But he felt horrendous as he crept back to the house. He hadn't even thought to grab a jacket before he ran out, and now there was a chill frost in the air that sank into his bones without mercy. He shivered, wrapping him arms around his chest and approaching the door hesitantly. He didn't want to knock, but god he just wanted to get somewhere warm. He sighed, rapping his knuckles lightly against the door.

The door opened almost immediately. It was Michael.

"Holy shit dude, you're frozen." The younger man pointed out, grabbing his arm and dragging him into the warmth. The house was darker than when he had left it. Out of some petty irritation he avoided looking at Michael, merely grunting in reply before stalking into the living room and sinking into the couch. Michael hovered awkwardly by the door. 

"Okay, I get it I'm an absolute dick." Michael sighed, slipping into the living room. Ryan didn't reply, just gritted his teeth together. "You're right, I shouldn't have search you up. Dick move, I know." Michael tugged a hand through his curls. Ryan looked away, not interested in whatever it was the younger man had to say.

"I'm sorry." Michael said quietly. Ryan frowned, turning to look at him in shock. "I know I'm a pretty shitty person, okay? And I'm really sorry." Michael sighed, sinking into the armchair opposite and pulling his knees up into his chest.

"I just...I have issues with trust. I mean, just ask Ray, it took me months to even trust him, and he's the most harmless guy in the world. So yeah, I didn't trust you, because you surround yourself with these awful rumours, and so I searched you up, because if the rumours were true, there would be information on you and your father came up, and yeah, I didn't even think, I just panicked. The picture did look like you. And I mean, I was worried about Gavin mainly. I don't know, it was a dick move I get it, but..." Michael trailed off. Ryan stared at him for a minute or so whilst they descended into silence.

"I know where you're coming from. You just brought up bad memories, you know?" Ryan admitted with a sigh.

"I mean, if it helps my father was a son of a bitch too. Didn't murder anyone, but might as well have." Michael said with a shrug, his expression relaxing slightly.

"I'm surprised my father never killed me to be honest." Ryan admitted suddenly. Michael blinked at him. "It wasn't just seven victims by the way, but they could only connect those deaths to him. I think he started killing after my mum died, I'm sure someone will find some psychological significance in that I don't know, but that was when I was about two. I'm not really sure what I remember, whether it was dreams or not, but I knew I wasn't allowed to talk about anything happening at home. And I know that he hated me. Maybe it would have just been too suspicious to kill me, I don't know." Ryan mused. He'd never really voiced those thoughts before and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

"Is that why you're homeless?" Michael asked, leaning heavily on the armrest.

"Kind of. I mean, he never let me leave the house you know? Scared I'd tell the wrong person the wrong stuff even though I didn't fully know what was going on. So he wouldn't let me go to college, even forced me to drop out of high school, and he was the only family I had, so when he got convicted I didn't have anywhere to go. And no one wanted to help me out, a few were convinced I must have known what was going on, that I had helped out or whatever. It was just easier to run away from it all, and then there was nowhere else to go."

"Families fucking suck man." Michael huffed. "Like I said, my dad's a dick. My stories a lot more typical; abusive household, ran away, found no support, ended up on the street. Fucking commonplace story to be honest." Michael snorted. "Also, what sort of name is Edgar? What the fuck? No wonder he became a murderer."

Ryan snorted despite himself, letting himself smile ever so slightly, even though it dropped from his face quite suddenly. He sighed, lying down on the couch and content to try and sleep here, if only he could get rid of his insomnia for one night.

"Are we okay?" Michael asked suddenly, the chair he was on creaking as he shuffled uneasily.

"Yeah. We're good." Ryan answered, meeting Michael's gaze with a soft smile. Anyone who could make him feel even the slightest trace of humour about his fucked up family life was good in his book. It was miles better than the pity, or even the horror he usually got whenever he told the story.

* * *

 

Jack crept into the living room, noticing that Ryan was still sleeping on the couch and attempting to avoid disturbing him. It was still early, but he didn't mind being awake when he didn't have to go to work later on. The others would probably be waking up in an hour or so, and it might be nice for them to wake up to a cooked breakfast, especially considering that Geoff had told him about the idiots not eating for a couple of days.

He searched the fridge and the pantry, trying to think of what he could cook, and whether he actually had enough for six people. He chewed on his lower lip, eventually deciding that he should probably settle for a fry up. He would have to stock up later today.

He almost jumped out of his skin, yelping as he closed the fridge door and saw that Ryan was staring at him. He placed his hand on his chest, sending the other man a withering glare as he tried to settle his rapidly beating heart.

"Sorry…" Ryan said with a soft smile, brushing a hand through his wild bed hair. He looked dishevelled, wearing an oversized jumper and loose trousers that can't have been that comfortable to sleep in. His eyes were still tired, but there was something almost cute about the other man's appearance.

"Don't worry about it." Jack waved him off with a smile, pulling his gaze away from the other man. "I'm just going to cook breakfast." He explained, placing the pack of sausages he had grabbed onto the counter, as he searched the cupboard for a saucepan.

"I can help if you want." Ryan offered. Jack smiled.

"Nah, it's fine. The kitchens really not big enough for more than one cook to be honest." Jack replied. There was a reason why it was usually just him or Geoff that cooked, and not both of them together. It was really a pain to manoeuvre in a kitchen this small, but then they didn't really have the money to do anything about it. "How are you feeling by the way? Ray told me a bit about what happened yesterday."

"I'm okay." Ryan said with a shrug. Jack hummed, glancing back at the other man as he turned on the stove.

"Michael has trouble trusting people. Don't take it to heart." He added. It was true, the younger man had dealt with a lot of shit in his lifetime from other people, and that generally made it very hard for him to trust new people. It didn't help that he definitely had some issues with anger.

"It's fine. He apologized. I guess I'm not the easiest person to trust." Ryan replied. Jack quirked an eyebrow.

"I talked to Michael last night. He didn't say he apologized." He hummed. Michael wasn't generally one for apologizing; not because he lacked a conscience or anything like that, he just knew it took a lot for the other man to actually say the word sorry. "If he apologized, than he generally feels bad. He doesn't say sorry without meaning it." Jack pointed out at Ryan's confused expression.

"He seemed earnest." Ryan agreed with a soft smile. "I understand why he panicked last night. A lot of people have done worse when they've found this stuff out."

"It's not fair to blame you for what your father did. Especially when it sounds like you were a victim in your own right." Jack said, turning to face the other man. Ryan ducked his head, shrugging. "Seriously, you've shown yourself to have a big heart. We owe you that Gavin is safe right now. Don't beat yourself up for something that isn't your fault." He continued, placing a hand on Ryan's shoulder. The other man looked up at him, something startled in his expression before he smiled.

"Thank you...." He trailed off then, looking suddenly nervous and unsure. Jack patted him gently, turning his attention back to the sausages that were sizzling in the pan.

* * *

 

Jack dished up the food, just as the others drifted downstairs, lured by the rich aroma and hungry stomachs. He gathered up a plate and a glass of orange juice and headed towards Gavin's room, instructing Ryan to sit down whilst he tended to the injured man. Ryan had been doing more than enough to help Gavin out, he deserved to take a break at least to just eat.

Gavin was already awake by the time he entered, which was surprising considering the other man tended to lay in until woken. He sat down the glass on the side table, watching with concern as Gavin turned tired and frustrated eyes towards him, shifting up lazily to rest the plate on his lap.

"You okay?" Jack asked, watching Gavin struggle to eat with one hand, despite the fact that Jack had already cut up the food for him.

"Just tired." Gavin shrugged.

"Didn't sleep?" Jack guessed, eyes trailing down Gavin's body for any signs of worsening injuries. Gavin nodded. "Any particular reason?"

"My ribs hurt." Gavin admitted quietly. Jack pressed his lips together, moving Gavin's plate to the side as he lifted up the younger man's shirt and assessed the dark bruising. Gavin sighed, letting him prod around, but despite the fact the bruises were still stark and somewhat horrifying, there had been some improvement. They had become less black, and were now spotted with yellow here and there. Gavin hissed as his fingers traced along one particularly bad bruise.

"Are you taking your painkillers?" Jack asked, sitting back with a frown. Gavin pursed his lips, gently shaking his head. "Well, that's probably why it hurts. The doctor said you should be taking them for at least the next two weeks." He pointed out, exasperated.

"They're really difficult to take. I just keep choking on them." Gavin argued. Jack furrowed his brows, reaching for the bottle of painkillers resting on the side table.

"They don't look that big?" He pointed out, quirking an eyebrow.

"I have a really bad gag reflex." Gavin admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. Jack glanced at him, before turning the pills around and double checking the dosage.

"I'll be back in a minute or so." Jack said, taking the pills with him to the kitchen. He could just crush the pills into the powder, although it probably wouldn't do anything for the taste.

He boiled the kettle, and rummaged through the pantry until he found some honey and lemon juice. He smirked, satisfied as he grabbed a spare glass and poured some honey into it, mixing it with the lemon juice. As the kettle boiled he poured the boiling water in, watching it dissolve the honey mixture. He got a rolling pin and crushed a couple of the pills, spooning the powder into the drink and mixing it.

"What's that for?" It was Geoff who asked, walking lazily into the kitchen, and placing his empty plate onto the counter, moving it to the sink only when Jack glared at him.

"Gavin. He's having trouble swallowing pills." He replied. Geoff looked at the mixture, nodding, before glancing behind him where the others were gathered in the living room and lowering his voice.

"About Gavin..." He started, something almost shy in his voice. "Do you think it'll be a dick move to ask him out?" He added. "I mean, I don't want to put pressure on him whilst his injured or anything..."

"Why are you asking me?" Jack retorted, trying to keep his voice level and ignoring the way bitter jealousy tightened in his gut. It wasn't his business if Geoff was interested in someone else. That was just life.

"You're my best friend." Geoff replied, staring at him earnestly. Jack sighed.

"Ask him if you want, just make sure he knows that we're not going to kick him out if he says no." Jack suggested, pushing aside his own feelings. He was Geoff's friend first. That was always how things were going to work between them. Geoff nodded eagerly.

"Yeah of course. I'll ask him later on today. Thanks Jack." Geoff said, hugging him briefly, before giving him a wide smile and walking back into the living room. Jack watched him go, heavily conflicted before taking the cooling honey mixture and returning to Gavin.

* * *

 

Gavin stirred as the door to his room opened. He'd decided to nap after taking the painkillers with Jack's help, especially now they had helped to numb the pain enough for him to actually be able to get to sleep. He yawned, turning on his side and glancing at who entered, smiling softly as Geoff walked in.

"Hey buddy." Geoff greeted, wringing his hands together in front of him as he took a seat next to Gavin's bed. "I didn't realise you were asleep." He added, his knee bouncing restlessly.

"I was just dozing." Gavin replied, shifting into a sitting position as he stared questioningly at Geoff. "Are you okay?" He asked, the nervousness radiating off of the older man almost tangible in the air.

"Yeah I'm good. Great even." Geoff laughed nervously. "I was just...thinking about maybe asking you something..."

"Go on." Gavin had a sinking feeling about where this was going. It wasn't that he didn't like Geoff, or that he even particularly wanted to say no, it was just...he still hadn't figured out what was going on with Ryan and he couldn't say yes to this and no to the other, or vice versa without feeling like something was distinctly wrong, but he didn't want to say no to either but that wasn't exactly an option.

"I was thinking, if you wanted, and like, it's completely up to you, whether maybe you wanted to, you know, go out?" Geoff asked, voice shaking ever so slightly. Gavin swallowed, clenching his hands in the sheet, because now this was a lot harder, because with Ryan, at least it had been a heat of the moment thing, but now, he felt like he was going to have to hurt someone's feelings even when he wanted so desperately to say yes. But the more he remained silent, the more he could see the doubt overtaking Geoff's expression.

"I mean..." He trailed off, trying to actually for once in his life explain what he was feeling coherently. "I mean, I do, but um, I kind of need to wrap my thoughts around things before I can really say yes, because, um, well, it's complicated, but I just, well I need time to think about it." He mumbled, glancing down at the floor so he didn't have to look at Geoff's pain stricken expression.

"Time to think..." Geoff repeated dubiously. "I mean, yeah okay, that makes sense." He added, speaking a little too fast. Gavin chewed on his bottom lip, watching Geoff run a shaky hand through his hair. "I need to go and rest up for my shift." Geoff decided, abruptly getting to his feet and hastily exiting the room.

Gavin flopped back against the pillow with a heavy groan, honestly wanting to just scream about this entire situation. He stared up at the ceiling morosely. Why did this stuff have to be so bloody difficult? Why did he have to have feelings for multiple people at once, goddamnit.

* * *

 

Gavin sighed, scratching at the sling on his arm, and glancing pitifully towards the door every now and again. He hadn't seen Geoff since the day before, and he knew the older man was avoiding him, considering what had happened. God, if only he could have said yes. But he wanted to say yes to Ryan. He wanted more than he could have, which was the problem and he honestly was on the verge of ripping his hair out in frustration.

The door opened and he looked up hopefully, but sighed when only Jack entered. He'd half hoped it would be Geoff, but then, he didn't have anything else he could say. For all his talk about needing time to think, his thoughts had yet to lead him to a solid answer.

"Wow, you look cheerful. What's up with you?" Jack asked, placing a glass full of the honey mixture on the side table as he waited for it to cool down.

"Can I ask you for advice?" He asked with a sigh. Jack tilted his head, but nodded, smiling encouragingly. "So, this is going to sound stupid, but say, hypothetically, you are like interested in more than one person at once, and they're both interested in you, but you don't want to say no to one of them, what would you do?"

"Is this about Geoff?" Jack asked, leaning back against the chair. Gavin blinked at him, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "Geoff told me he wanted to ask you out." Jack explained with a shrug.

"Yeah. He did." Gavin admitted. "And I kind of want to say yes, but I’m kind of also interested in someone else who might be interested in me, and I really have no idea what to do."

"You're saying you love more than one person?" Jack asked, his brows furrowing in concentration. Gavin nodded with a frustrated huff. "Have you considered a polygamous relationship?"

"Um..." Gavin mumbled intelligently. Off all things for Jack to suggest, he had not thought that would be one. "I mean, isn't that a bit weird..." He added.

"Not really. I know a few people who are polygamous. If you love more than one person, and everyone's okay about the situation, than why not? No need to limit yourself to one partner." Jack argued with a shrug. Gavin frowned.

"I mean, do you think Geoff would be okay with it?" Gavin asked cautiously.

"Would I be okay with what?" Geoff's voice interrupted them, where he was leaning against the doorway with furrowed brows. Gavin yelped, blushing as he wondered how much the other man had heard.

"Gavin wants to know whether you're okay with polygamous relationships." Jack answered. Gavin spluttered, blush deepening as he stared back at Geoff, ready to deny it immediately but stopping when he saw the thoughtful look that had descended over Geoff's expression.

"So me, Gavin and you in a relationship?" Geoff questioned, directing Jack, whose eyes widened. "Yeah, I'd be okay with that." He agreed.

"Wait no, I didn't mean with me..." Jack interrupted, startled. Geoff froze, a panicked look coming across his features.

"Yeah, I mean, obviously 'coz you're straight..." Geoff said with a strained laugh.

"I'm not straight." Jack replied, brows furrowed. Gavin shuffled up on the bed, watching the exchange with wide eyes, but choosing for once to bite his tongue and say nothing.

"Jack you've never once dated a guy." Geoff argued, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

"I've dated guys before I met you." Jack retorted, getting to his feet and narrowing his eyes.

"I've never seen you even show interest in guys before!"

"I haven't shown interest in anyone since I met you." Jack replied, staring Geoff down. Geoff straightened, dropping his arms to his side.

"Oh...you never said anything..." Geoff mumbled quietly, a blush decorating his cheeks handsomely.

"You never showed interest!"

"I showed loads of interest!" Geoff retorted, before snapping his mouth shut at Jack's startled gaze.

"What?"

"Are you blind? All I ever did in like the first year I knew you was say on a daily basis how gay I was, and how wonderful you were, and you never figured it out?"

"You used to bring guys back here all the time..."

"Yeah, well." Geoff rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Thought you'd show interest then. But you just accepted it, so I moved on..."

"You didn't ask me out to make Jack jealous did you?" Gavin asked quietly.

"God no! I asked you out because...well, I like you, you idiot." Geoff mumbled. "And I like Jack. And apparently Jack likes me. So I'm fully up for this threeway relationship or whatever if you two are."

Gavin glanced at Jack then, and perhaps he would never have thought about it beforehand, but he did like Jack. He trusted him, he enjoyed his company, he was kind and sweet, he'd opened his house to Gavin, he'd helped him out numerous times, either dealing with stupid paperwork, or with advice or taking painkillers, and he found the other man funny in the same way a bad pun is funny. And yeah, maybe he would like to give it a try.

"I'm okay." He agreed, staring up at Jack hopefully, who looked shocked.

"Yeah, me too." Jack nodded quickly. They all beamed at each other than, a startled bubble of giggles escaping their lips.

"Wait, if it wasn't Jack that Gavin wanted a polygamous relationship with, who was it?" Geoff asked suddenly then.

"Um, Ryan..." He said, thinking about adding on Michael and Ray, but god, he should at least try to accept what he already had. Geoff blinked. "I mean, I don't expect you guys to date him as well, but I'd like to date him if that's okay..."

"Yeah I'm okay with that I guess." Jack nodded, scratching at his beard.

"I guess. I mean, we'd have to figure it out. It might be easier if we try to date him as well." Geoff mused. "But I mean, sure, go ahead and start dating him now. I'm okay with it."  Geoff added with a smile. Gavin grinned, butterflies booming in his chest.

"The three of us should go on a proper date." Jack suggested, giggling like a teenager.

"Absolutely!" Gavin chimed in.

"Geoff can pay." Jack added, before the other man could say anything. Geoff spluttered a noise of complaint, but the smile and pure joy in his eyes betrayed him.

Geoff huffed, muttering something about work and Gavin’s injuries, before the three of them descended into laughter, all grinning at each other like lovesick teenagers, pure joyous excitement filling him and making him giddy and lightheaded at the prospect of this relationship.

* * *

 

Gavin hobbled into the living room at night, content that the house was silent enough that it was unlikely anyone else was awake. He moved towards the couch, where he could see Ryan huddled up in a thin blanket, his chest rising and falling steadily. He lowered himself to the floor, gently shaking the sleeping form.

Ryan stirred, and Gavin couldn't help but smile to see how much more Ryan was relaxed now that he was somewhere safe. He woke up like a normal person, not lashing out and attacking blindly like he had been prone to do, but instead letting his eyes flutter open and focus on the person in front of him.

"Gavin?" Ryan mumbled, the word distorted by tiredness. "Are you okay?" He asked, rubbing at his eyes as he lifted his head wearily. Gavin smiled up at him.

"What do you think of polygamous relationships?" He asked. Ryan blinked at him.

"You better not have woken me up for some hypothetical question." The older man grumbled, crawling into a sitting position.

"Nah, I'm serious." Gavin persisted, suddenly nervous, because what if Ryan actually hated the idea, and thought it was disgusting and maybe he'd be angry. Gavin shifted uneasily, wishing that maybe he was a bit less sober, because that would make this so much easier.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked, obviously noticing his anxiety.

"I'm just...I'm going out with Geoff and Jack now." He said suddenly, thinking of it like ripping a band aid off. Ryan blinked, a flash of hurt in his eyes that he quickly covered up, but not fast enough to prevent Gavin noticing. "But it's open! Like, they said their cool with me also dating you, I mean of course if you're okay with that..." He trailed off, feeling his heart beating in his chest.

Ryan didn't respond for a moment. And then all at once grabbed Gavin around the waist and lifted him into his lap, and their mouths met and he moaned, letting Ryan's hand roam up his torso, as he keened into the older man's mouth, sighing happily as Ryan wrapped his hand around the back of his neck and nibbled lightly at his bottom lip. Gavin tried to wrap his arms around Ryan, but yelped when he was reminded of the sling and he lost his balance and fell into Ryan's chest.

"You're amazing." Ryan hummed, and Gavin could feel the noise vibrating through his chest and he loved it. He looked up, eyes wide as he nibbled at Ryan's exposed neck, enjoying the way the older man shuddered beneath him. "God, I love you, you're so fucking amazing Gavin." Ryan moaned, brushing his hands through Gavin's hair. Gavin mewled happily.

"Come sleep with me." He murmured, leaning into Ryan's chest, and feeling the older man stiffen above him.

"I don't want to hurt you..." Ryan said cautiously. Gavin blinked, before blushing as he realised what he said.

"No, I mean like actual sleep, like lie in a bed and close your eyes sleep, you numpty."

"Numpty huh?" Ryan huffed, laughter escaping his lips and it was the most beautiful sound Gavin had ever heard. And then Ryan was lifting him up, hugging him close to his body as he walked them back to the bedroom, and placing him gently on the bed and crawling in beside him.

"You're wonderful." Ryan murmured, kissing along his neck and wrapping his arm around Gavin's waist, slotting them together perfectly.

* * *

 

Geoff had expected things to change dramatically. He hadn't woken up yesterday planning to enter a polygamous relationship, and by all accounts it should feel weird whilst they had to adjust, but it just felt natural. As if all the pieces had come together, finally. Like this was how things were meant to be all along.

Even now, lying beside Jack, who was still snoring quietly, felt like something that had happened already. Not to say there wasn't that excited buzz spreading through his veins at the thought, or the strange tipsy feeling that invaded his stomach at the start of a relationship, but mostly it just felt comfortable, like coming home after a long day and sinking into a warm bed.

He didn't move until Jack's breathing changed and he stirred, eyes fluttering open and smiling happily as they met Geoff's. He leaned on his side, stroking his thumb across Jack's bare chest, watching will a satisfied glint in his eyes as Jack blinked away the tiredness in his eyes and turned on his side to face Geoff.

"Hey..." Jack said quietly, a giddy little smile tugging at his lips and making his face glow. Geoff smirked, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on the other man's lips, enjoying the way Jack shuddered from the small touch and continued to chase it even as Geoff broke contact.

"Hey buddy." Geoff smiled. Jack laughed, throwing his head back and plopping onto his back again.

"God..." Jack whispered, a huff of mirth tracing the word. Geoff hummed, nuzzling his head against Jack's shoulder, and biting a few kisses down the other's neck. Jack sighed happily, tilting his neck to expose more skin. "So this is for real then?"

"Hope you're not having doubts now." Geoff joked, tilting his head to look up at Jack. Jack shock his head, still smiling as he brushed a hand through Geoff's hair.

"Doesn't feel real." Jack murmured. "I can't believe I get to have both you and Gavin..."

"And Ryan maybe." Geoff piped up. Jack raised an eyebrow, thoughtfully.

"Yeah, maybe." Jack said, scratching at his beard. "Are you thinking we should make a move on him then?"

"I dunno, I mean, yeah we don't know him as well as we know each other, or we know Gavin, but I guess that I kind of want to get to know him. I mean, I'd rather at least try than be left wondering, you get me?" Geoff admitted. He supposed that actually, if he had met Ryan in a bar or something, he probably would have tried to buy him a drink or whatever, because yeah, the other man was definitely his type, especially when he opened up and relaxed around them, dropping his more threatening persona.

"Yeah, I sort of feel the same way. I like Ryan anyway, so it wouldn't be hard to actually take it further." Jack mused. "I guess we just have to make sure he's comfortable with it."

"Yeah." Geoff nodded, cuddling up lazily to Jack, and wrapping the duvet around them both, indifferent to the uncomfortable warmth as he placed a few more kisses along the other's neck, stroking his hand along Jack's chest and enjoying the way he moaned quietly as he brushed over his sensitive areas.

* * *

 

Geoff didn't make a move on Ryan that day. He'd brought up his thoughts to Gavin, and watching the younger man smile and nod enthusiastically definitely encouraged him along that path, but he didn't want to push the other man. But something had definitely ached deep within him when he came down and saw Ryan and Gavin cuddled up together, and he yearned desperately to join them. A quick look at Jack and he saw his own feelings mirrored.

And then the next day he had woken up early, needing to go to the toilet, and after discovering that untangling himself from Jack's tight grip was a feat in itself, he'd eventually managed to escape and quietly pad downstairs to the toilet.

He walked out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his dressing gown, and paused, certain that he'd heard something in the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes and headed that way, tilting his head as he strained to hear what was definitely the clacking of pans. He grumbled quietly to himself; it was definitely too early for anyone to be cooking.

He froze, eyes widening as he spotted Ryan, dressed down in just baggy jeans and a shirt that showed of his impressive arms, muscled and strong enough to probably easily lift any one of them. And he was baking. Geoff went quiet, hesitating at the boundary and watching the other man as he scooped some cake mixture into the little cupcake wrappers that lined the kitchen. Flour was sprinkled over the counter, and over Ryan himself, a smudge of which was currently resting over his forehead, and damn, if that wasn't the most adorable thing ever.

He laughed, and Ryan jumped about ten feat in the air, spinning around with startled eyes and breathing heavily. Geoff just continued to wheeze out strangled laughter. Ryan straightened up, brushing his hair out of his eyes and just succeeding in covering himself in more flour.

"Are you baking?" Geoff asked, incredulous. Ryan shifted his weight like a child caught taking a cookie from the tin. “Oh my god, you're a secret baker. You secretly bake things. That's incredible."

 "I..." Ryan started, blushing a deep shade of red.

"Where did you even get all this stuff?" Geoff asked, walking into the kitchen and gesturing vaguely towards all the cake mixture. He was pretty sure that they hadn't had all these ingredients a few days ago.

"Um, I bought it..." Ryan shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.

 "Oh god, that's brilliant."

 "You're not annoyed?" Ryan asked, tilting his head with a strained smile. Geoff felt giddy all over at the sight.

"Annoyed? Nah, this is adorable." He said, smirking and taking a step towards Ryan. Ryan opened his mouth to respond, but instead just licked his lips and closed them again. "You've covered in flour." He mused, brushing his hand across Ryan's cheek, feeling the heat under his palms. He lowered his hand, tracing across Ryan's jaw line.

"Is this okay?" He asked, feeling Ryan freeze under his touch. He glanced up, meeting Ryan's eyes and grinning when the other man nodded. Geoff wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck, and pulled him down into a kiss. He nibbled at Ryan's lips, walking forward and pushing Ryan up against the counter where the kiss turned predatory, and he bit down harder, enjoying the strangled gasp that escaped Ryan's mouth before he started kissing back more furiously, eagerly searching for more.

He broke the kiss, glancing momentarily behind him and seeing Jack watching the action with intent eyes. Ryan was breathing heavily, his eyes darting toward Jack, lips slightly parted. Geoff gestured for Jack to join them.

"You okay with this?" Jack asked, turning towards Ryan who was still leaning back against the counter, looking completely and utterly wrecked. Ryan nodded, wetting his lips and moaning delightfully as Jack approached him.

Geoff stood back for a moment, enjoying the sight as Jack grabbed Ryan's hands and pushed him back further against the counter before claiming his mouth in a bruising kiss. But Geoff could only watch for so long before he slid up beside Jack, nudging him aside to nibble down Ryan's neck, his own hands reaching up under Ryan's shirt and exploring the muscled torso, flicking his thumb across one of his erect nipples and taking note when Ryan shuddered, groaning loudly and bucking further into the touch.

And then there was a loud cough behind them. All three of them froze, before quickly taking a hurried step away from each other and spinning on the spot to see Ray standing in the living room, where he had full sight of the kitchen. The younger man was chewing on his bottom lip, eyebrow quirked dramatically as he stared at them questioningly.

"So...um, can you not have sex in the kitchen? That's where food is prepared guys, don't be unhygienic." Ray mumbled hurriedly, dragging his lips into something that resembled a smirk.

"We weren't having sex." Geoff pointed out, focusing all his energy on not turning a dark shade of red like his companions.

"Right." Ray commented sardonically.

"I think we might need to have a talk about this." Jack suggested with a sigh, running a weary hand through his beard. Ray raised an eyebrow.

"I'd rather not hear the intricate details."

"Not like that! Jesus..." Jack huffed.

"You're the one wanting to talk about their gay threeway!" Ray pointed out.

"It's actually technically a fourway." Ryan piped up, ducking his head as they all turned to stare at him.

"Okay, maybe we should have a talk." Ray agreed, eyes wide.

* * *

"You guys were making out without me! Weak." Gavin muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, or at least attempting to, but his injured arm were merely jostled slightly before falling still and making the whole gesture look incredibly awkward. 

"Shut up idiot." Geoff grumbled. Michael and Ray were simply staring at them, dumbfounded. They had all gathered in what was now more or less Gavin's room to talk about the massive gay elephant in the room, and Geoff honestly was starting to think it would have been less painful to have just shot himself in the face.

"So you guys are in an open relationship?" Michael said slowly, brows furrowed together in a way that actually looked painful.

"I mean, we haven't exactly put a label on it, but yeah I guess." Jack answered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well I guess it's actually more just polygamous, considering we aren't open to just anyone." Jack amended quickly.

"And it's not a sex thing?" Michael continued. They all shock their heads more or less simultaneously. "And you're what...asking us for a blessing?" Michael asked, blinking in confusion.

"We're just making sure everyone is on the same page." Jack replied.

 "I mean, I don't care. Congrats or whatever." Michael said with a shrug. Ray sat behind him thoughtfully.

"Yeah me neither." Ray added, glancing towards them as if waiting for an objection. Geoff looked at Jack, waiting for the other man, who had unofficially become the current spokesperson for their relationship, to say something.

"Well, okay." Jack said after a moment, huffing and getting to his feet. "I guess that settles that. Let's never talk about it again."

* * *

 

Despite what he said, Michael wasn’t sure how exactly he was meant to feel about the relationship. Part of him was of course happy for them, they were his friends and he had watched Jack and Geoff dance around each other for years, but on the other hand…the whole polygamy thing just seemed rushed. Michael prided himself on being open minded, and he accepted the relationship fine but it had just sort of came out of nowhere.

He leaned back against the sofa where he had absentmindedly been watching Ray play video games whilst the others were busy making out or doing whatever in Gavin’s room. Ray was playing intently, with his tongue poking out in concentration as his onscreen character stalked around, warily searching out enemies to kill. For someone who had been unable to play video games for years, he was able to fall back into the swings of things within minutes.

A few moments later he heard a door open, followed by the sudden burst of chatter and laughter, before Gavin hobbled excitedly into the room, leaning heavily upon Geoff’s shoulder but seeming immune to the physical strain as he beamed up at the older man. Behind them Ryan stood next to Jack, their bodies pressing together, whilst Jack slipped their hands together in a way that he probably thought was subtle.

He stiffened as the others sailed into the living room, shifting further up against the arm rest of the couch, convincing himself that he was just trying to make room. Ray didn’t seem to mind the abrupt intrusion, if anything the younger man seemed to relax, smiling up at the others and leaning happily into Gavin when the other man was plonked practically on his lap.

Michael narrowed his eyes, ignoring the general conversation going on around him, which rapidly engaged Ray who even turned his attention away from the video game to say some comment that had the others all laughing, their eyes twinkling as they looked at the younger man, and Michael watched with a sickening bout of realisation as Ray leaned into the gentle touches as Gavin nuzzled himself up against him, as Geoff stood behind, strong hands clasping his shoulder, with Ryan at his feet and Jack on his other side, and Ray was beaming, was seeking them out as much as they seemed to be seeking him out.

Michael got up suddenly, muttering something about having a headache, and rapidly left the living room which had quickly become claustrophobic. This was stupid. He was stupid. But they were more stupid, they were moving too fast, wanting more than they should, and they were going to crash and burn because that’s what happened to people who got involved in relationships without thinking about the consequences, just focusing on the here and now and the temporary pleasure as though it was worth the years of heartache and pain.

And he realised, with a sinking feeling, that he really didn’t want to wait around and see that happened. He stood in the cramped spare room, breathing heavily as he stared at his meagre belongings that were littered carelessly around the small space. Without taking the time to dwell on his thoughts he started to grab what belonged to him and stuffing it into his rucksack that had sat neglected for days

There was a gentle knock on the door, which was altogether pointless, considering the door was wedged open by the bed that was too big for this room. He turned his head, not able to help glaring as Ray took a step in, and then hesitated, realising there really wasn’t the space for the both of them. Michael turned back to what he was doing and zipped up his rucksack.

“What are you doing?” Ray asked, something hesitant in his voice as he stared at the rucksack. Michael refused to meet his eyes.

“What does it look like?” Michael snapped. Ray pursed his lips. “I’m going on a nice little vacation because I have so much spare money laying around, what the fuck do you think I’m doing Ray, really!?”

“Why? I thought you were happy here…” Ray pressed, hand clenching at the shirt that hung loosely from his thin hips.

“Oh come off it Ray. It was fine when we were all friends and what not, but now this is getting ridiculous.” Michael scoffed, brushing a hand through his curls, and shuffling his weight restlessly as Ray continued to stand in the way.

“I don’t understand. Since when do you care?” Ray asked, a trace of vulnerability softening the otherwise interrogation-esque question.

“Since they keep looking at you like the way they were doing in the living room!” Michael snapped, taking a threatening step forward, prepared to push Ray out of the way if he remained silent.

“They look at you the same way.” Ray said quietly. Michael blinked, rage momentarily smothered by shock. “If it is an invitation, it’s an invitation to the both of us.”

“Well more reason to leave.” Michael grumbled bitterly. Ray looked surprised. “What, do you honestly think I want to be part of this? I’m happy for them I am, but this relationship is going too fast, they’re not thinking things through and they’re going to get hurt.”

“You know, not all relationships end in pain.” Ray retorted defiantly. Michael levelled him with a glare, knowing that if it was anyone else he would have already started throwing punches by now.

“Why take the risk.” Michael muttered, pushing past Ray and ready to leave without a word of goodbye to any of the others. He didn’t expect Ray to grab him with a ferocity he did not think the other man capable of, and drag him back into the room to then pin him against the door.

“You fucking dysfunctional sack of shit!” Ray hissed, an anger blazing in his eyes that was completely foreign and made Michael fall still in shock, rather than push the smaller man off like he wanted. “You’re so fucking scared of believing that anyone could love you and mean it that you’d rather run away and leave behind everyone you care about just on the off chance you might get hurt, you selfish prick!”

“Ray, what that…” Michael grunted, pressing his hands up against Ray’s chest and surprised at the resistance he found.

“You don’t get to decide whether other people are worth the risk. You can’t just form relationships with people and then up and leave without a goddamn word. Do you know how we’d feel? Do you even care, or are you too wrapped up in your own self-esteem issues and fear that you don’t even notice that other people fucking care for you, that other people actually might love you!” Ray yelled, his voice tapering off into a breathless pant, his chest heaving and emotions decorating his features. Michael stared at him. He’d never seen the other, usually laid back man, so worked up, so…desperate.

“Do you love me?” He asked, flinching at the words as they came out in a half choke, barely loud enough to hear but he knew Ray had heard. Could see the moment he understood the question enter his eyes, and he released Michael then, taking a step back, the back of his knees hitting against the bed with a soft grunt.

“Ray?” He pressed, regretting it immediately as the bitterness descended on the other man’s face.

“What does it matter? I’m not worth the risk.” Ray growled, pushing past him furiously and hesitating at the door for only a moment. “Go ahead and run away again, what do I care…” He muttered, storming off, his footsteps heavy as he ran down the stairs. Michael stared after him, knowing that he should be doing something but just frozen to the spot.

After a moment he huffed, adjusting the straps of the rucksack where they had become tangled, and creeping down the stairs quietly. He stared at the living room, where he could still hear the light conversation and wondered if that was where Ray had retreated and whether he should go and talk this out…but the more he stood here the more profound his feeling of isolation from the group. He bit his lower lip and walked to the front door, leaving the small, familiar house without a sound.

* * *

 

Ray hated himself. He wanted to hate Michael, but he couldn’t, because whenever he thought about the other man he became achingly aware of the abrupt melancholy that had descended on the house over the last few days and his own resulting hollowness. He curled up alone on the couch, his chin resting on the top of his knees as he stared bitterly at the empty room.

Geoff and Jack had gone to their shift. Even Ryan had had to leave to go to work, leaving him alone with Gavin, who had developed a slight cough that had Jack restricting him to bed rest. Ray thought about perhaps being a better person, and going to at least sit with Gavin, but he was sick of the stares of pity from the others.

This was technically their fault anyway. If they hadn’t started flirting, pushing at them to join their bloody polygamous relationship Michael wouldn’t have got scared. At least the others were also feeling the strain of Michael’s absence, but that didn’t bring him much satisfaction. It was probably a dick move to blame the others anyway, but Ray didn’t exactly care at the moment.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had spent more than a night without Michael by his side. They’d been together for a couple of years now and that was how it should always be. Fuck, how could Michael just leave? And without him? Michael hadn’t even asked him to come with him! Michael probably hated him right now anyway.

The landline rung. He sighed, stretching across the couch to where it was plopped up on the side table.

“Hello?” He said, rubbing at his eyes wearily. He already knew that it was Geoff. The man had been calling at pretty much the same time every night since Michael left.

“Hey Ray…” Geoff responded quietly. Ray suppressed a sigh. He knew what that tone of voice meant. “He didn’t turn up today either.” Geoff said, and that was one thing he appreciated about the older man, his directness. No attempt to beat around the bush, or gloss up the facts, they were just the truth and nothing but.

“He’s probably left town by now then.” Ray mused, his lips curling downwards.

“I don’t think he would just leave like that.” Geoff replied stubbornly. Ray hummed but said nothing. “How’s Gavin doing?” Geoff asked, changing the subject with a sigh.

 “He’s still coughing.” Ray answered. He’d heard the younger man coughing throughout the day, albeit it in isolated bursts.

“Have you actually talked to him today?”  Geoff pushed. Ray grunted vaguely. “Ray you’re not doing yourself any good by isolating everyone else.” He continued. Ray didn’t respond. “Listen, I’ve got to get back to work. At least try to distract yourself. Bye Ray.”

“Yeah, bye.” He said, hanging up without another word and ignoring the spike of guilt within him. He knew it wasn’t Geoff’s fault, but he couldn’t handle the way everyone was treating him like breakable glass.

He cursed quietly to himself, swinging his feet underneath him and standing up, pacing restlessly for a few minutes. He knew what he wanted to do; what he had wanted to do since Michael left. He frowned, grabbing his worn purple hoodie that was tangled up with a bunch of clothes on the armchair after Geoff had done the laundry. He wrapped it round himself, trying to ignore the way it now smelled familiar, the trace of the others wafting around him.

He opened the front door, blinking against the cold as he took a step out. He shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to ignore the pinpricks of cold that prickled at his cheeks. He’d been off the streets for far too long if he was already affected by the weather. He almost jumped a mile when he heard the crunch of gravel behind him, followed by the wheeze of heaving breathing.

“Where are you going?” Gavin asked, his eyes narrowed as he hobbled further out. Ray took a step towards him instinctively, watching with concern as the Brit stumbled and swayed on his single crutch.

“Dude, go back inside.” Ray ordered, trying to usher the other man back into the house. Gavin clenched his jaw, remaining fixed on the spot, unable to be moved without risk of hurting him.

“Where are you going?” Gavin repeated, pushing forward a few more steps that almost had him hurtling face forward had it not been for Ray hovering worriedly by his side.

“I’m just going for a walk, go back inside, seriously dude you’re going to get hurt.”

“No, I’m going with you.” Gavin retorted stubbornly, a deep uncharacteristic frown etched onto his face. Ray glared at him, the howl of the bitterly cold wind seeming to back up his point. Gavin just glared back.

“I’m going to look for Michael, okay?” Ray admitted, rubbing a hand down his face wearily. Gavin blinked, but remained stubbornly still. “It’s fucking freezing dude, you’re going to get pneumonia or something.” He exclaimed, pushing on the other man’s uninjured shoulder. Gavin squeaked, grabbing the edge of the door and managing to slam it shut before falling on it with a satisfied glint in his eyes.

“It’s just a mingey little cough. If you’re going I’m also going.” Gavn replied. Ray glared at him.

“You know neither of us actually have a key to get back in right.” He pointed out, eyes fixed on the shut door. Gavin frowned, glancing behind him to the door, before his mouth parted in silent realisation.

“Oh…Well, I guess now I have to come with you. That was my plan all along.” Gavin smirked, straightening up painfully slowly as his crutch scrambled for purchase over the frosted ground.

“I should just leave you here.” Ray muttered. Gavin squawked, moving forward suddenly and once again almost toppling. Ray rolled his eyes, grabbing the Brit around the waist and acting as an additional crutch to lean on. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Aww, Ray…” Gavin whined, as they stumbled out of the driveway, latched awkwardly onto each other. Ray huffed, torn between hurrying them along and making sure that Gavin wasn’t putting too much strain on his body. “Where are you planning to look then?”

“Places we usually sleep.” Ray explained. He did have the fleeting suspicion that Michael had indeed taken the few days to leave the town entirely, or that he would be deliberately avoiding their usual hang-outs, but he didn’t bother to communicate this to Gavin. Either the Brit had already thought it himself, or at least he could be spared the worry of thinking it.

Gavin hummed in acknowledge, trying and failing to supress a yawn that strained his entire features. Ray could feel the cold that had already seeped into the other man’s bones, could feel the icy skin which was now pimpled with goosebumps. Ray sighed, removing his own hoodie and placing it over Gavin’s back who then managed to fumble his way half into it.

“Thanks.” Gavin murmured, wrapping the loose sleeve over his bandaged arm like a blanket.

“You should be in bed. Jack is going to kill me.” Ray grumbled, scuffing the front of his shoes across the gravel, irritated. He felt bad for thinking it, but he really wished that he was alone, just so he could move faster at the very least. He could see that Gavin was making an effort, but this was probably the furthest he’d walked in two weeks and the exhaustion was obviously in his drawn and sweat sheened features.

It was quiet out tonight. Most sane people had hidden away from the bitter elements that now nipped eagerly at their exposed skin. At least in Texas it didn’t tend to snow, even in the midst of winter. When he had been in New York when he first found himself on the street the snow had been the worst. Snow is no longer fun and enchanting when it freezes your limbs and dampens your clothes.

They eventually managed to hobble into the first maze of alleyways that he had been keen to search. This was not typically a place people slept, there was no real shelter here for one thing, either from the winds or the rain. No large dumpsters or overhanging doorways to cower beneath. But it was one that was well-trodden by all manners of people who found themselves on the street at night. It was possible they might find Michael, or at least someone who had seen him hovering nearby.

He noticed that Gavin had fallen abnormally quiet. He would have assumed it was just tiredness, or perhaps the melancholy atmosphere that weighed down on them, that stilled his otherwise over-eager tongue. But he realised that the further they walked the more the other man pressed up against his side. Ray glanced up at him, tilting his head with faint concern at the way Gavin’s eyes darted rapidly through the alley whilst he chewed nervously on his bottom lip.

“Are you okay?” Ray asked, despite the fact he had somewhat been enjoying the silence. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy Gavin’s company, he just wanted to focus on the current task at hand was. Gavin startled at his voice, glancing down at him with a shaky smile.

“Yeah. I’m top.” He said, almost believably. Ray narrowed his eyes.

“If you’re having trouble we can always rest for a moment…” Ray suggested. Gavin shook his head vigorously.

“No. I’d rather we keep moving.” He replied stiffly. Ray quirked an eyebrow.

“Are you scared?” He asked carefully. Gavin pursed his lips, seeming eager to ignore the question as he tried to push on but Ray forced them to come to a stop. “That probably wouldn’t be abnormal considering what happened.” He added, voice softening.

“It’s stupid. I’m not scared.” Gavin grumbled, clawing at the loose strands that had been pulled away from his jacket absentmindedly. “I’m just a bit cautious, is all.”

“You’ve never really talked about the incident.” Ray continued, allowing them to keep moving, if only for Gavin to stop looking like a restless and abused puppy. Gavin grunted in vague acknowledgement. “You know you can talk to us about it, right?” He offered hesitantly.

“I just want to move on from it really.” Gavin shrugged, frowning as the motion clearly jogged his injured shoulder. “I’m not scared. Not really. Just a bit on edge. It’ll fade. It’s like the first day you walk to school by yourself, it feels all dangerous but you get used to it because eventually you learn that the chances of anything happening are pretty slim so you just get on with it.” Gavin expanded, brows furrowed together slightly.

“What about you, how are you feeling?” Gavin added, abruptly staring down at him questioningly. Ray blinked at him, stretching his neck from side to side until he heard a satisfied pop as he contemplated his answer.

“I want Michael back.” He said simply.

“In what way?” Gavin asked, pulling the hoodie tighter around himself as another gust of wind managed to pierce through the urban landscape. “I mean, like do you want a relationship with him as well?”

“I don’t really give a fuck to be honest. I just want my friend back.” Ray muttered with a shrug. “We’re friends before anything else. I don’t care what happens romantically as long as that remains the same.”

Gavin hummed in acceptance and they descended back into silence. There clearly didn’t seem to be many people out today, although they could distantly hear the low moan of chatter through the walls which crisscrossed the maze of alleyways. They turned down another alley in that direction, heading to where there was more possibility of shelter.

“I still don’t get why he left.” Gavin said after a moment, a deep frown etched on his face. Ray glanced at him, grunting vaguely but otherwise remaining silent. “I mean, I thought we were friends…like, why didn’t he come to us if he was uncomfortable?” Gavin continued, a low distressed note entering his tone.

“Because that’s not what Michael does.” Ray retorted. Gavin looked at him, confusion sprinkled across his face. “He doesn’t trust people, Gavin. It’s a bloody miracle he let you into his life so quickly, but that was probably more to do with my influence than anything else.”

 “He must know we’d never knowingly hurt him…”

“Look, he hasn’t had the best experience with people. Lots of shitty people talked bullshit to him about trust in the past so it doesn’t come easy now.” Ray huffed, pausing a moment to run a hand through his hair that had been blown onto his face and was now annoyingly tickling his forehead. “It’s not my story to tell though.” He added, somewhat defensively.

“But why so suddenly? There must have been something that happened that made him uncomfortable?” Gavin pressed, breathing heavily as he swayed, his knuckles white where they were tightly gripping the crutch. He looked about ready to pass out.

“I dunno. You guys and your relationship probably…” He trailed off, feeling a stab of guilt at Gavin’s hurt expression. “Not in the way you’re thinking. It’s just, I suggested you guys were showing interest in him, and I think that freaked him. He’s scared of being hurt again.”

“Oh…I mean, I guess that makes more sense…” Gavin mumbled, breaking off into a cough that was followed by a wince. Ray frowned at him. They probably should head back. Except they didn’t have the keys to the house, so they’d have to go to the shelter first. He didn’t want to give up, but he was just chasing shadows at the moment, and Gavin was freezing his tits off, which was in no way going to help the cold he had developed.

There was the sudden thud of hurried footsteps and he barely had time to turn before he was pushed violently to the side. He stumbled, regaining his footing quicker than he thought possible, a cold fear gripping him as he heard Gavin’s pained grunt. Ray glared, wide eyed at the culprit.

“Give me your fucking money right now!” The attacker yelled, strong arms wrapped tight around Gavin’s throat in an unrelenting grip that was clearly painful as it held him securely in place. Ray swallowed, meeting Gavin’s panicked eyes and feeling a low thrum of hysteria building up inside of him.

“I don’t have any money…” He claimed, lifting his arms up in surrender and trying to ignore the way his voice shook. The man seemed to almost snarl, but there was a flash of movement beside them and suddenly his grip on Gavin was released. The Brit stumbled, sinking against the grimy wall and slumping downwards, chest heaving as he watched the scene play out.

The would-be assailant was punched across the face. The man took a few winded steps back, only to be hit with a deft uppercut that split his lip open with a drizzle of blood. His shirt collar was grabbed, and Michael- _and oh dear god, it was Michael, fucking Michael_ \- pulled the man in, having pure advantage of strength if not height.

“You don’t fucking touch them you absolute scum, get the fuck out of here or I swear to god I will kill you!” Michael hissed, his face burning red as he sneered at the other man. He pushed the man away, fists clenched tightly to his side, seething as he watched the wannabe thief quickly retreat into the shadows of the alley.

There was a moment of silence then. He could hear the others breathing; Gavin was still slumped on the floor, and Ray doubted he’d be able to clamber to his feet without help, and his chest was heaving rapidly as if his heart itself was trying to escape. Michael was glaring, his nostrils flaring as he stared down the path the man had escaped too, clearly wanting to follow.

He stared at Michael, shock eventually being overtook by reason as he realised with a sick feeling of betrayal that Michael must have been watching them. There was no way that Michael had just mysteriously appeared. He gritted his teeth, meeting Michael’s eyes as the man eventually turned back to them, taking some degree of satisfaction in the sudden guilt that flashed in the other man’s eyes.

“How long?” He asked, not bothering to clarify. Michael scuffed his feet against the ground, shifting restlessly.

“Not that long.” Michael answered quietly, something almost shy in it now. “I heard you guys coming from almost a mile away. You’re bloody loud when you’re limping around and making noise all over the joint.” Michael added, his gaze drifting towards Gavin who was looking up at him dumbfounded.

“What are you doing out here?” Michael questioned, kneeling beside Gavin and placing a hand on the other man’s knee. Gavin blinked, seeming to snap out of the numb state that he’d fallen into. Michael passed him the crutch, his hand lingering against Gavin’s for a moment longer than necessary.

“Looking for you, you numpty! Where the hell did you go, boi?” Gavin retorted, eyes earnestly searching Michael’s expression.

“The guys are worried about you as well.” Ray said, coming to stand beside the two men. “They miss you.” He added softly. Michael averted his gaze, suddenly finding the ground a lot more interesting.

“I heard a bit of what you were saying.” Michael admitted after a moment, a sigh tracing his words. “I…I’m not really good with this stuff guys…”

“You don’t have to be.” Gavin intercepted, leaning forward and resting his hand on top of Michael’s. “We’re not going to hurt you. We love you. And if you don’t want to be part of the relationship, that’s fine. We respect you, we want you as a friend first and we want to know you’re safe. We never want to do anything to upset you, but please don’t just leave without a word…please Michael, I missed you boi…”

Michael ducked his head, and there was an honest to god blush decorating his face and making his faint freckles even more pronounced. Ray gazed at him fondly, and mostly hopefully, because he wanted Michael to come back to them. But part of him knew that Michael didn’t have it in him to actually say the words.

“Do you want to come back with us?” Ray asked softly. Michael glanced at him, a small but thankful smile on his face as he nodded. Gavin grinned, grabbing the other man into a hug and succeeding only in pulling Michael down onto his lap with a soft grunt. Michael twisted out of his grip, but a small bubble of laughter managed to escape him as he slowly stood up, carefully helping to hoist a giggling Gavin back to his feet.

“We have to go to the shelter to get the keys of Geoff and Jack. They’ll be happy to see you.” Ray explained. Michael nodded, but looked faintly nervous. Ray smiled softly, brushing up against the other man’s side and tentatively reaching out a hand. He couldn’t help the burst of excitement and joy that stormed through him as Michael gripped his hand tightly. Michael then wrapped his other hand around Gavin’s waist, slotting the Brit into his side perfectly. Gavin smiled, nuzzling his head into Michael’s neck as he sighed happily.

* * *

 It was weird at first. Lots of careful touches, and even more careful kisses, that eventually worked up to something more forceful, more eager as Michael opened up more. Kissing Ray felt like something he had done before. Kissing the others felt like something fresh, like meeting a guy in a bar and hitting it off. It was full of electricity and uncertainty.

“Listen buddy, we don’t want to pressure you into anything. But this house is your home now okay, and you don’t need to leave because of something we’re doing. It doesn’t matter to us if you don’t want to be romantically involved as long as you’re happy.” Geoff had said, whilst they all sat around the living room, huddled together in anticipation, all feeling the spark of change in the atmosphere. Ray had been soothingly caressing his wrist the whole time, like he was some spooked animal, but he didn’t have it in him to be annoyed at the time.

He didn’t think he’d have been able to make the choice without Ray there. As pitifully sad as it was, Ray was his safety blanket. Ray was the one he went to when he felt overwhelmed, because Ray understand him in a bond strengthened through time the others had not had the chance to form.

But it didn’t take him long to find out that Jack could strings words of comfort together with a soothing ease. And that Geoff gave the best hugs, and the most amazing back rubs. The two of them together stilled his racing mind when the fears got too much. He didn’t even have to talk and they would understand what he needed.

And Gavin…Gavin was fucking amazing in a way that he’d probably never admit to the other man. He was awful at video games, and said the most ridiculously stupid things, but he was amazing and beautiful and wonderful and Michael had never felt such a pull towards another being. Gavin was intoxicating. He was funny, and had this cute, high pitched laugh that made his eyes crinkle and shine, despite the pain laughing caused his bruised ribs. And when he’d managed to get pulled into a contract for filming with an old friend, Michael couldn’t have been more proud.

Ryan was perhaps the most surprising. He’d never really considered the other man humorous before, but god, the comments he made, a perfect mix of snarky and hilarious, that would have them all wheezing. And he found that Ryan was actually pretty good at video games and fun to play with through the sheer destruction he caused and it was refreshing to have someone else to rage with.  And gradually, he became more and more fond of the other man until he realised he loved him just as much as the others. And Ryan had noticed, his eyes had started to shine brighter and he would take every chance to just touch him, and would murmur encouragements to him that would have sounded ridiculous coming from anyone else. And it was Ryan who convinced him he was smart enough to try to get an electrician apprenticeship, despite his limited education. And for once in his life, he’d actually believed he had the ability. And he’d been proven right.

“If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But you won’t lose us as friends.” Ray had whispered, as they had sat huddled in the small spare room, his own thoughts whirling as he wrestled with an impossible decision.

And it was weird. Because it was like a puzzle piece coming together; the parts were all there, but you couldn’t quite believe it. It was like destiny, except he didn’t believe in that crap. He had the nagging fear in the back of his head that things couldn’t be so perfect, and he supposed that was true. After a while real life had slammed back into them like a brick, and Jack and Geoff had been made redundant after the shelter finally closed. But they managed to get by. Ray got a job. Gavin had money coming in. Ryan started to help pay the pills. And they got through it.

“I was scared when Gavin was hurt. I was furious when you were threatened. I hated myself when I hurt Ryan. I sought Jack out all the time. I relied on Geoff when shit was going down. And I missed you all.” Michael had mused, mostly to himself than Ray who had watched him whilst his face had been marred with concentration.

He’d barely realised how much time had passed, how long their relationship had been going on for, until Gavin had been fully recovered. And that brought a whole new element, because Gavin, without a crutch, without a broken ankle, bruised ribs and injured shoulder was equivalent to a hyper-active five year old, especially after all the bed rest he’d been forced to bear. But it was somehow more exciting, not irritating, despite having a lanky British man swinging in his lap, to have Gavin so excitable, so eager to make up for all the times he hadn’t been able to just plonk himself on top of them when he was feeling tactile. And it was amazing, to feel so loved and so thankful that this stupid idiot had recovered without permanent injury. Because Gavin deserved to be happy and Michael wanted him to be. Michael yearned for all of them to be happy with an intensity that both shocked and invigorated him.         

He’d crept down the stairs that day with Ray by his side. He hadn’t been at all surprised to find the others still in the living room. They probably would have waited there all night for him to make his decision. And he’d appreciated it, when they all had carefully controlled themselves, when they looked up at him with nothing expectant in their face, as if it had just been a normal night.

And then he had said probably the only words in his life that he had not regretted one bit since;

“I want to do this. I want to be with you guys.”

               

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if I made any mistakes about the American health system. I live in England so I'm used to the NHS, but I did some research but there was some conflicting things, so hopefully it's accurate enough. I really hope you enjoyed this. There's unlikely to be a sequel, but I may in the future come back and extend the story, but that's a big might. This was really meant to be a oneshot, and I got carried away but I had a deadline to meet, so I feel like this story could probably be extended to something full length but at the moment, I'm happy with the way it is.


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